Tag: 3QL

Developing a Student Leadership Team: Know Your Why

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Why do we need to learn this? When will I ever use this in real life? 

And so goes the familiar refrain in math classes all over the country. The core question being asked reveals an innate desire in each of us: we want to understand why?

As we learn to pour into and develop leaders around us, whether students or adults, understanding why we are setting out on this journey sets the guardrails for our process.  

What follows are three answers I’ve used to the question of why:

  1. To lighten the load. One church where I served had very little adult involvement, and even less interest in serving. As the student ministry began growing, I realized there was a significant need to help get simple tasks accomplished, so we established a student leadership team. Students on this team led worship, set up the room, prayed over requests and chairs, greeted, ran media, and filled gaps as needed. This was a remarkable team that met a specific need in that season.
  2. To bless others. Sometimes, establishing a leadership team isn’t about what it does for us, but what it provides for others. Some people (students included) are simply waiting to be invited to serve. Then, once the invitation has been extended, they find incredible joy in jumping in and finding their role and their place with all that’s happening. Having this why changes our approach—we are not inviting people to join just so they can serve us, but because it serves them. This is true for students, as well. Providing a student an opportunity and place to serve is an incredible way to help them discover the purpose God has for their life!
  3. To grow ourselves. The most intentional I ever became about developing a student leadership team was when I started to become intentional about growing myself. As I started to explore what it meant to grow in leadership, I invited students along for the journey. We embarked on a process that led all of us to new heights, and something for which I’ve been incredibly grateful all along the way.

Now, obviously the best why is a mix of the three reasons listed above, or maybe even something you’re going to develop on your own. The importance is coming up with your why and sticking to it.

If we have no vision and no direction, we will wander aimlessly. Discover your why.

Want to Develop Others? Start Here.

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What does it take to start a leadership team? More specifically, for student ministers, what does it take to develop student leaders? I’m going to spend some time over the next few weeks hashing out some of my thoughts. I hope they help!

As I’ve been on a journey of intentionally growing and developing leaders around me, there’s one thing that I am slowly but surely becoming more and more certain of: the importance of growing ourselves.

Put another way, we can not expect to grow other leaders if we do not have a growth plan for ourselves.

Seems like a simple statement, right? But I think it’s one of the biggest hang ups we, as leaders, face. 

As ministers, it’s too easy for us to settle into an event planning mindset-planning for the next program that’s never more than 7 days away. Then add the major events we plan, and with minimal effort our calendar is filled. 

We become very good at doing our job, but miss the benefit of the work we do. 

That’s why it’s important to think through what you’re doing to develop as a leader. Are you growing? Are you being intentional about your growth? Do you have goals that you set and visit regularly? 

Let me try this again. Answer these questions on a scale of 1 (not at all) to 6 (considerable growth).

  1. How much have you grown as a leader in the past 12 months?
  2. How much have you grown as a leader in the past 6 months?
  3. How much have you grown as a leader in the past 3 months?

What’s your answer? Do you see a trend? 

Maybe you’re satisfied with your answers, and if so, I’m thrilled for you! 

Maybe your answers are a little discouraging. If so, I’m cheering for you!

Maybe your answers are inconclusive. If so, I’m cheering for you.

Ultimately, if we want to help those around us grow, we have to take the initiative to grow ourselves. John Maxwell says, “We cannot lead anyone farther than we have been ourselves.”

So, how do you grow yourself? There are so many ways, but here’s one of the things I’ve done the past three years: set goals for growth. Pick a date about 3 months out and set a goal to read X number of books. Then, be intentional in doing so. If there are questions to be answered, answer them. If there’s an evaluation tool, use it. Then, after the set time, evaluate and see how you’ve grown. Then adjust and grow some more.

I’m curious. If you’d say you’ve grown lately, what have you done? What works for you?

Lessons from the Court: Know What You Know

How can we honestly get frustrated at someone for not knowing what they’ve never been taught?

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“You might need marriage counseling after this game.”

Little did our friends know the truth of a sentence spoken in jest.

For the past couple years, playing pickup basketball has been one of my more consistent events week in, week out. Recently I spent some time reflecting on the leadership lessons I can share from my time on the court.

Recently my wife has been playing with us. I love my wife, she’s amazing, but we were fortunate enough to have not been paired up to that point, until this fateful day.

We had a few tense moments, and frustrations never got the best of us. But, it was still an experience. And here’s what I realized: she doesn’t know what I know about basketball. She has her own instincts. She doesn’t know my hand signals or head nods. She doesn’t know to anticipate which cut I’m going to make (or usually not make).

So who am I to get frustrated at her for knowing what she knows and not what I know?

The same is true in leadership. How can we honestly get frustrated at someone for not knowing what they’ve never been taught?

What if we shifted our mindset? What if, instead of lamenting what someone may not know, we take on the role of guide and teach them? How would our leadership change if we created a shared language?

Basically, we have two choices: 1) we can expect people to “get with the program” and catch up to where we are, or 2) we can understand what someone may not know and help them grow. One of these requires a decent amount of self awareness. The other is poor leadership.

Take a minute to evaluate some of the people you lead. What do they not know? How can you help them grow?

A Bonus Back to Basics!

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Three Question Leadership is kind of my brand. I mean, look at the url above, and you’ll see it. I’ve spent the last 4+ years honing the three questions, but today I have a bonus for you – the secret 4th question that unlocks the power of the Three Questions.

A few years ago I started teaching students a simple framework of questions to help them think through a practical approach to leadership and influence. I reference it often here, even giving this framework it’s own page on the navigation bar (The Foundation), but I thought it might be time to write something fresh about the Three Questions.

The concept is simple: teach yourself (and those around you!) to ask and answer the following three questions, and watch your influence slowly begin to grow. As it becomes part of the language, you’ll begin to see a difference. So, without further delay, here you go:

When you walk into a room (or approach a situation), ask yourself the following three questions:

  1. What NeedsWhat Needs To Be Done? (Awareness)
  2. What Can I Do? (Willingness)
  3. Who Can I Get To Help? (Leadership)
  4. A Bonus Question!

I love these three questions. I love the framework they provide. I love the simplicity. I love the potential they unlock. I love watching students learn to work through them.

But sometimes, as I’ve taught these questions to students, I fill time with talking. One night I was doing that and off handedly mentioned a fourth question, to which Gabe was enamored by. I’m not sure if he was more caught by the content of the 4th question, or the secrecy of it, but he didn’t let me forget it.

The fourth question is simply this: Who can I teach the Three Questions? (Multiplication)

At the end of the day, while the first three questions provide a solid framework, the true power of the questions is in their replication. What I’ve been doing the last two weeks. What you can do by teaching the framework to those you lead.

Ultimately, the best secrets are secrets that cannot be kept. That’s why today’s title mentions a bonus. Learning to share the framework is like hitting the jackpot. Slowly but surely you will see culture begin to shift as service and leadership take a front and center approach.

So, who can you teach the three questions? Who in your life, in your sphere of influence, can you challenge? What are you waiting for? Send them the link to this blog!

As always, you can subscribe here to get these posts delivered straight to your inbox.

Back to Basics, Pt 3

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“Leadership is Influence. Nothing more, nothing less.”

John Maxwell

Can I share a secret with you? The scariest part of leadership for me is actually asking people to help me.

I dread rejection. I dread losing control. I dread failure. I dread under/over estimating a relationship.

But, if John Maxwell’s quote above is true, then learning to leverage influence is leadership in it’s simplest form.

Enter the third question.

A few years ago I started teaching students a simple framework of questions to help them think through a practical approach to leadership and influence. I reference it often here, even giving this framework it’s own page on the navigation bar (The Foundation), but I thought it might be time to write something fresh about the Three Questions.

The concept is simple: teach yourself (and those around you!) to ask and answer the following three questions, and watch your influence slowly begin to grow. As it becomes part of the language, you’ll begin to see a difference. So, without further delay, here you go:

When you walk into a room (or approach a situation), ask yourself the following three questions:

  1. WWhat Needs To Be Done? (Awareness)
  2. What Can I Do? (Willingness)
  3. Who Can I Get To Help? (Leadership)
  4. A Bonus Question!

Today, let’s talk about the third question. The first two questions lay the foundation for leadership, but truthfully just make us people others like to be around. Who doesn’t like to spend time with that friend who is willing to do anything to help? Don’t we all have a friend who stays pretty clueless to needs around them?

But if we want to grow in our leadership, if we truly want to expand our leadership influence, the third question becomes the opportunity to unleash (sorry, I’m listening to the Imperial Death March) leadership.

I can’t speak for everyone in what I’m about to say, but here’s my experience. I continually ask myself the third question as a form of accountability. I don’t want to do everything myself. I really don’t. Part of the reason for not wanting to carry it all by myself is I can become a pretty miserable person when I’m over burdened.

Something I’m coming to discover, though, is sometimes people are just waiting to be asked. So why would I let my fear and insecurity get in the way of helping someone find a way to get involved?

So when we learn to ask and answer the third question, we begin to unleash opportunities for others.

Not inviting people to join us can actually be an act of selfishness. Not wanting to share the spotlight. Not wanting to put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. Not wanting to let go. Not wanting to admit we can’t do it all.

Your leadership will never grow if you don’t learn to invite and include others.

But, when you invite others to join you, or to even take charge, the result can be truly beautiful.

I know today I’ve gone way more personal than usual. So, I want to hear from you: do you invite others naturally, or is it work? Comment below.

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