Tag: Horizon of Possibility

2 Key Traits for Student Leaders

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Have you ever noticed some people look at situations differently than you?

A few years ago, I heard a radio personality talk about how science has proven women and men look at cleanliness differently. Women actually see dirt more easily than men. It’s not that they have some sort of super vision, but their awareness of filth is higher. This means as a husband, I need to adjust my standards of clean in order to be a blessing to my wife.

This happens in developing student leaders as well. So many times, as youth ministers, we fall into the trap of thinking a student has to meet a certain level of leadership ability in order to take on the mantle. But I would disagree.

In fact, as I have been working with student leaders more intensely over the past 3 years, I have noticed 2 criteria which are critical to developing successful student leaders.

1. OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE

I cannot think of a single situation where anyone has led without first making the most of an opportunity. In fact, without opportunity, nothing happens. Where there is no opportunity, there is no movement.

Opportunities are simple, but it may require you changing how you view situations. The old saying goes “If you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” While the intent behind the saying may be negative, the truth is opportunity opens up when we shift our perception.

Every time you meet with students, there is an opportunity for leadership. My question for you is: are you making the most of the opportunities around you to allow students to grow and develop as leaders.

2. WILLINGNESS TO SERVE

The other part of developing student leaders, and the most critical, is willingness. If a student is not willing to take intentional steps, any effort you exert will be diminished.

A student’s willingness to serve is imperative to their own development. But if you think about it, this concept is a no brainer.

As an adult, if you need to lose weight or cut back on salt, no one else can make that decision for you. It’s a decision you have to make. The people around you can provide opportunities, but it is up to you to make the most of the opportunities.

Students who are willing to serve, are more likely to grow as leaders. Students who are unwilling to serve will hit a ceiling of their own making.

The bottom line is this: if you can find a student who is willing to serve, give them an opportunity to serve and lead, and watch the impact they begin to make!

 

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What if People Want to Help?

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Confession time: I struggle with asking people for help. My biggest hurdle is convincing myself people want to help, even after they are already serving in some capacity.

That’s why I lean on the 3 questions to help me grow as a leader. They serve as a framework and a reminder.

(Side note: if you don’t know what the 3 questions are, please go here and read about them.)

Today, let’s talk about the 3rd question specifically (Who can I get to help?). My thought is simple: What if people actually want to help?

I know not everyone wants to help, and not everyone wants to help with anything you ask (although some may). But in my experience, there are people who are willing to help especially when they are helping in a way that energizes them.

People who love to cook, when asked to cook, are energized by being able to cook.

People who love to build, when asked to build, are energized by being able to build.

People who love to paint, when asked to paint, are energized by being able to paint.

People who love to run sound, when asked to run sound, are energized by running sound.

People who love to work with babies, when asked to serve in the nursery, are energized by serving in the nursery.

Are you starting to see the pattern? It’s there, but it doesn’t stop there. Our role, as ministry leaders, is to find what it is that someone loves to do, and ask them to serve that way. Makes sense, right?

Over the years one of the most defeating things I’ve encountered is having requests for help being met with no. Sometimes, it has been because the person hasn’t wanted to serve, but sometimes it was because I was asking the right question to the wrong person.

So, today, what if people really want to help? Are you asking the right person to accomplish the right thing? Are you asking the right question? Or, is the fear of “no” causing you not to ask at all?

One last thought: for those who work with students. There is incredible value in teaching students to ask and answer the 3 questions, teaching them to grow as leaders early in life by simply exerting influence. But there’s also incredible opportunity to find students who are willing to serve and giving them an opportunity to do just that, because after all, what if students are willing to help?

 

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Leadership Overwhelm

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I had the wonderful opportunity to visit Hawaii on my honeymoon. I was 20 years old, and had never been to a beach, so to say it was an experience is an understatement. We were fortunate to be able to take several tours, one of which took us around the island of Oahu to a couple different beaches.

On that tour, one of the stops was a snorkeling expedition. I don’t know about you, but I discovered something that day: snorkeling is not natural. Don’t believe me? Fill your bathtub with water and immerse your face, but breath normally. I’ll wait here.

I distinctly remember floating around and realizing my heart was racing and I was on the verge of a panic attack. I was supposed to be breathing through a tube, but my instinct was to hold my breath. Something had to give.

Leadership can feel the same way. You get into a situation where you think you know exactly what you are supposed to do, but in reality you may have to adjust your natural reactions to meet the needs of the moment.

And in that moment, overwhelm sets in. You begin to wonder if you’re going to be able to adjust, or even if you should have to adjust. You feel like the water is all around you and all you want to do is breathe normally.

Here’s the reality: the only way to avoid leadership overwhelm is to avoid leadership.

If I had stayed on the beach that day, I would never have experienced that moment of panic, but I also would not have seen firsthand one of the most inexplicably fascinating things I’ve seen in my life. Sure, I could watch videos or look at pictures of schools of fish swimming by, but nothing replaces the experience.

Leadership is the same. If you’re feeling overwhelmed today, good. Now, breathe normally and keep going. You’ll adjust and respond accordingly. That’s what leaders do.

And who knows, along the way, you may even influence some people to do the same.

 

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3 People Who Need a Note From You

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Hey, you there. You reading this. I’m talking to you. Today’s post isn’t a pie in the sky theoretical thing. It’s a nuts and bolts post. Aimed directly at Student Pastors, but applicable to anyone in leadership.

Did you know the most read post on my blog in 2017 was about taking time to say thank you? I think most people resonate with the challenge of thanking people around us, but find it difficult to make it a regular part of our routine.

On Tuesday, I posted about the effectiveness of hand written notes and challenged you to write one note. Well, today, let’s look at three different types of people who need a note from you.

Your Youth Workers and Volunteers

These people are the real heroes of youth ministry. Their role is crucial to any success or growth you may experience. Don’t believe me? Try serving in a church where you cannot pay a volunteer to show up versus a church where you’re able to establish a 1 adult to 3 students ratio–the difference is staggering.

Take time to show your appreciation for these incredible people who work full time jobs and volunteer their time. Write them all a note at one time, or tell yourself you’re going to write one or two each week. Whatever it takes.

Your Students

You may not have continual contact with students, but you can make their day by sending them a note. One story in particular comes to mind: I sent a note to a student when she was in 8th grade, just to let her know I was praying for her. Around five years later, we were visiting while she was home from college, and she told me she still had that note. You never know what a student might need to hear, or just being reminded that you’re praying for them.

Your Family

I alluded to this previously, but if I can make my daughters feel special with a note, why wouldn’t I do that? The same is true for my wife and my family. You may not have children or even a spouse, but I bet you have family of some sort that would love to get a note from you. Write a thank you or a “thinking of you” note to an aunt or uncle who played a significant role in your life and you’ll have the chance to be a blessing to them.

 

So, there you go. Pick a category, and write another note today. It’s worth the time it will take to write, trust me!

 

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3 Tips to Develop a Lifestyle of Learning

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I have been very fortunate in my life. School came easy to me. I rarely had to work on school work. I grew up in a small school, and was generally able to finish most of my homework before heading home for the day.

Going through college, I had to make some adjustments. I realized some of my friends could calculate the number of days they could miss class, and plan out how many times in a semester they would sleep instead of going to class, whereas I needed to be in the classroom, listening to the lecture and discussion.

Then I graduated, and was faced with a new realm of life: learning away from the structure of school.

Over the past 10ish years since finishing my masters degree, there are a few things I’m starting to pick up. Oh, who am I kidding. Most of this has developed over the last couple years as I realized I want to develop habits now that will help me continue to grow 30 years from now.

So, here are my three tips to develop a lifestyle of learning:

  1. Learn From Everything. This comes natural, and it’s something I’ve written about previously (click here to read the post). The concept is simple: in every situation, take mental notes about the systems taking place. Go to football games and watch how coaches interact with players, coaches, officials, and fans. Watch the response by leaders to a public tragedy and ask yourself how you would handle those situations. Allow children to remind and refresh you along the way–enthusiasm, excitement, and growth.
  2. Learn From Others. Surround yourself with people who are a notch (or three) above you (I have another post about this here). Be curious about what makes them tick, and take the initiative to ask good questions. Be willing to learn from them–quick to listen and slow to speak. I had one interim pastor tell me I may not have the wisdom of an 80 year old pastor, but I can always ask an 80 year old pastor for wisdom. You will be amazed at what you can pick up when you set out to learn from other people.
  3. Learn From Books. I wrestle with this on a regular basis, because I’m such an auditory learner (I think). The reality is, however, I still learn more when I actually read. I listen to podcasts at an almost nonstop rate, but if I am being honest with myself, the written word is still my greatest retention and implementation strategy. Audiobooks are simpler to finish, but several of the ones I’ve finished lately still deal with being able to see images and diagrams, requiring visual effort. On Thursday, I will share some things that have helped me as I try to make reading a regular part of my life.

 

 

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