Tag: patterns

3 Shifts to Make to Unlock Your Leadership Growth, Part 3

Mistakes bother me. Especially mistakes I make that could have been avoided. But that leads us to our next point: Evaluated Mistakes Unleash Growth

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How have you grown in your leadership capacity over the past month? The past six months? The past year?

Growth isn’t always immediately noticeable. But I really hope you can look back at the past twelve months and point out how you have grown. Maybe you added an arrow to your quiver, like moving conversations from surface to something more using intentional questions. Maybe you’ve spent more time pouring into someone. Maybe you’ve swung for the fences and learned something along the way.

Today we are looking at part 3 of a three part series. You can check out part 1 and part 2 to catch up.

Let’s get vulnerable for a moment. Mistakes bother me. Especially mistakes I make that could have been avoided. But that leads us to our next point:

Evaluated Mistakes Unleash Growth

Some situations require swinging for the fences, only to strike out and learn from the misfire. Mistakes don’t mean failure. Unevaluated mistakes mean failure.

Did you catch that? Once again, evaluation makes the difference. I am constantly amazed at what growth can be unlocked when we learn to evaluate our mistakes.

But that means we have to make mistakes. Not mistakes of ignorance, but mistakes of innovation.

A mistake of ignorance is making a mistake when you should have known better. Going to a Mexican food restaurant and binging chips and salsa when you’re trying to cut carbs, for example. Or planning an event without checking the necessary calendars, again.

But mistakes of innovation are mistakes made when trying something new. You plan an event you haven’t done before, or introduce a new emphasis for a season. Sometimes these things work really well, sometimes they flop.

Ultimately, mistakes provide an opportunity for evaluation, which in turn will unleash growth.

I’m going to guess you’re in one of two camps: you’re like me and cautiously move forward, rarely making mistakes, but also not innovating very well, OR you repeat mistakes over and over. I guess you could be in a third place and have this nailed down, to which I cheer you on.

But no matter where you find yourself, what’s your action step going to be? Do you need to do some evaluating? Do you need to take a risk on something? How can you improve? How have you learned from a recent mistake?

3 Shifts to Make to Unlock Your Leadership Growth, Part 2

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How have you grown in your leadership capacity over the past month? The past six months? The past year?

Growth isn’t always immediately noticeable. But I really hope you can look back at the past twelve months and point out how you have grown. Maybe you added an arrow to your quiver, like moving conversations from surface to something more using intentional questions. Maybe you’ve spent more time pouring into someone. Maybe you’ve swung for the fences and learned something along the way.

I realized this morning I made a mistake with my first post. I assumed ignorance on your part. It’s possible I’m not sharing new information with these posts. In fact, it’s probably very likely.

So why am I writing them?

Because these are the things I either (a) wish someone would have shared with me 20 years ago or (b) completely missed when someone shared them with me 20 years ago. Sometimes we need to hear the same thing for the first time again.

Here we go.

2. Leadership is Most Effective as a Group Effort

I write a lot of my posts directed to you as an individual, hoping to help YOU grow as an individual. But the truth remains: we are better together. The very nature of this blog proves itself. I enjoy writing and reflecting, but I am better if you grow as a result.

Leadership can be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, the best leadership isn’t lonely. Leadership works better when we understand we are part of a team working to improve. Accountability, camaraderie, encouragement, problem solving and so much more are only enhanced when multiple people participate.

Please allow me to be blunt. You need other people. You need people who will come alongside you and support your wild ideas. You need people who will challenge your outrageous ideas. You need people who will encourage you when your crazy idea doesn’t work.

And leadership is not always a top down activity. Sometimes leadership happens every direction in a group. The bottom rung of the ladder can still leverage influence up, if the leader understands and champions that everyone has a voice and a role.

For me, it’s easy to tackle opportunities on my own. To take things into my own control and move forward. After all, who knows what should happen better than me?

But leadership is better, stronger, longer lasting, and more effective when we lean into the reality that leadership is most effective as a group effort.

What shift do you need to make? Who do you need to invite into the conversation?

Some Pain Needs to Be Addressed

Pain points in our ministries or organizations reveal friction, and friction needs to be addressed. But how do you know the difference between growth pain and dangerous pain?

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One day I started experiencing sharp pains in my abdomen. They were awful. It hurt to sit. I would be driving along and the pain would hit and almost incapacitate me.

So I ignored it. And eventually it healed itself without me doing anything to address it. Said no one ever.

No, when the pain got bad enough that I couldn’t tolerate it, I did what any normal person would do: I googled it. After one of the diagnoses came back as possibly endometriosis, I gave up and went to the doctor.

The doctor poked around a little bit and diagnosed my problem. We developed a plan of treatment, and within a few days (maybe a week), I was back to normal.

Last week I reflected on how some pain is growth. You can check it out here. Today, I want to touch on the opposite side of the spectrum: some pain needs to be addressed.

I tend to have a very patient personality. Playing the long game is one of my strong suits. So when there’s pain in my leadership, my default is to let it linger hoping it will get better or address itself. Once or twice, it has worked out that way, but more often than not the pain is a symptom of a bigger leadership issue.

Pain points in our ministries or organizations reveal friction, and friction needs to be addressed. But how do you know the difference between growth pain and dangerous pain? Here are three questions to ask to help you identify the difference:

  1. Is the pain a result of inaction on your part? Have you been too passive in casting vision, clarifying roles, or leading the way? Where vision is not clear, there is no unified target to aim for. And when you don’t clarify the target (or at least help clarify the target), everything is a possibility.
  2. Is the pain a result of a toxic personality trait? We need to be careful here not to write people off, but understand that sometimes their behaviors are at the root of the issue. The person who arrogantly pushes against authority, or the person who has deep-seated trust issues. These are issues that are not easily addressed, but that need to be covered.
  3. Is the pain a result of poor leadership on your part? What’s your greatest leadership flaw or struggle? If you can’t answer that, spend some time evaluating. I can point to half a dozen negative situations in my leadership over the past 12 months that result from my greatest leadership struggle. It’s not accidentally going away. So what am I willing to do to address it and grow? The same question goes for you: what are you willing to do to lean into your weakness?

Ultimately, any pain we encounter needs to be diagnosed to find the root cause. Some pain is growth, but some pain needs to be addressed.

What pain in your life needs to be addressed? What are you waiting for?

How to Attack the Question Marks

My favorite time to do something is the second time.

The first time I do anything, I don’t know exactly what to expect. I don’t know how to anticipate what might go wrong. I don’t know the unwritten dynamics at play. I don’t know what I don’t know.

But once I can do something the first time, evaluation kicks into gear.

Here are three ways I’ve learned to attack the question marks.

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My favorite time to do something is the second time.

The first time I do anything, I don’t know exactly what to expect. I don’t know how to anticipate what might go wrong. I don’t know the unwritten dynamics at play. I don’t know what I don’t know.

But once I can do something the first time, evaluation kicks into gear. After going through the struggles of the first time, I know how to anticipate, how to adapt, and what areas need attention. And evaluating is where I feel like I’m at my best.

But before I get to the second time, I have to go through the first time. And in order to go through the first time, I have learned to acknowledge the questions I have about something, and to do my best to answer them. That’s what I call attacking the question marks.

For me, the unknown can be paralyzing. I’m not a planner, but I’m much more comfortable with a plan. So, in preparation, I have to lean into the questions I have as a source of inspiration, not a source of inaction.

Here are three ways I’ve learned to attack the question marks.

People I Know

In March of 2022 I decided it was time for me to start lifting weights, but I didn’t know where to start. The only time I’d ever lifted weights was in high school, so I had a lot of question marks. That’s where Brian came in. He had experience lifting, so we agreed to be gym buddies (that sounds legit, right?). He knew what he was doing so I borrowed his experience and insight as I started.

There’s a good chance whatever you’re about to tackle has been done by someone else. Not always, but usually. Who do you know that you can ask for wisdom/insight/advice? Write down the questions you have for them ahead of time and see what you can learn.

People I Don’t Know

I play guitar. I spend more time gathering knowledge on guitars. I spend even more time shopping for guitars. Not to buy, but to learn. But sometimes to buy.

Recently, I saw a guitar for sale for a decent price, but didn’t know much about it. So I went to the internet. I read posts about that guitar on message boards, watched videos, and did a little research from the manufacturer’s website. I attacked the question mark by using the insight and experience of others. I did not know anyone who owned one, so I had to broaden my search.

Often you’re going to come up on question marks that can’t be answered by people in your circle. Broaden out. Google it. Depending on the scope, there may be books that will help you work through it. But learn to borrow wisdom from people you don’t know as an avenue to attack the question marks.

Just Do The Thing

You might say I’m an information junkie. I like learning new things and about things. But sometimes, the best and most effective way to attack a question mark is to just do the thing. After all, if you’re like me and your favorite time is the second time, then get the first time over with!

What question mark is holding you back? How can you be a resource for someone else? Is there something in your life that just needs you to act? What are you waiting for?

Lessons from the Farm: Adapt for Progress

But at the end of the day, those transition moments were crucial. We had to pay attention and respond appropriately, knowing the long term goal superseded the immediate situation.

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Have you ever had a perfect plan until it came time to execute the plan? Mike Tyson is quoted as saying “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

Have you seen this play out in your life?

Maybe you’re not a boxer. Okay, most of us aren’t boxers. But the premise is still true. Our plans can make all the sense in the world until we have to execute them.

First, a quick word. April at 3QL means I dig into my past and bring some leadership lessons from the farm. If you’re new, or if you’d just like a refresher, you can see some of the lessons from the farm posts from the past by clicking here, here, here, and here. Now, let’s move forward!

I saw this on the farm all the time. Last week I talked about moving cattle. Well, there’s one thing you need to know about cattle: there’s never a pre-meeting with the herd leader to determine the best, most efficient path.

Sometimes, when you move cattle, chaos ensues.

My dad had a draw (essentially a big ditch that has washed out over time) that runs through his land, separating a few of his fields. At one point specifically, the draw separates East/West and a county road separates North/South, creating a four corner situation with a 40 yard buffer in the middle running every direction.

If we wanted to move cattle across the road, it was simple enough. But if we want to move cattle across the draw, we could never predict which route was going to be taken.

That’s why we would discuss possible plans. Ideally we wanted the cattle to come out of the field and walk down the road across the draw, but it didn’t always work that way. Sometimes they would be moving fast enough that they would run across the road and we had to cross the draw at a different point. Sometimes they would go out of one gate and turn the opposite direction. And on occasion, they would take the most logical path.

But at the end of the day, those transition moments were crucial. We had to pay attention and respond appropriately, knowing the long term goal superseded the immediate situation.

The same is true for leadership. As you lead, you are going to get a sense of the direction and destination. Thankfully you work with people and not cattle, so you can discuss this. But please understand, everyone has a plan until they have to execute the plan.

The best plans on paper don’t always translate. So you have to learn to adapt in the moment. Remember, transition moments are crucial. Pay attention and respond appropriately, knowing that the long term goal supersedes the immediate situation. Take the time to adapt and move forward.

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