Author: wes

Back to Basics, pt 1

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Raise your hand if you’ve ever been frustrated with people you lead not meeting needs in the moment. Is this a universal frustration, or just something with which I struggle? I mean, so many times the need seems obvious to me, so why don’t they see it? Ironically, I’m sure the people in authority over me feel the same way at times.

There has to be a better way to make sure we’re on the same page, right? Right?

A little over 5 years ago I started teaching students a simple framework of questions to help them think through a practical approach to leadership and influence. I reference it often here, even giving this framework it’s own page on the navigation bar (The Foundation), but I thought it might be time to write something fresh about the Three Questions.

The concept is simple: teach yourself (and those around you!) to ask and answer the following three questions, and watch your influence slowly begin to grow. As it becomes part of the language, you’ll begin to see a difference. So, without further delay, here you go:

When you walk into a room (or approach a situation), ask yourself the following three questions:

  1. What Needs To Be Done? (Awareness)
  2. What Can I Do? (Willingness)
  3. Who Can I Get To Help? (Leadership)
  4. A Bonus Question!

First things first. What Needs to Be Done?

This seems like a rather simple question, right? As I’ve taught this to over 100 students in the past 5 years, I’ve realized there are generally two types of people: those who naturally ask this, and those who don’t. I haven’t figured out what makes the difference (if you know or have a thought, comment below!), but neither is right or wrong. It’s the way we’re wired and it’s important to know.

Asking ourselves the first question raises our awareness of what’s going on around us.

I enjoy running sound. I’ve said for over a decade that if I wasn’t on staff at a church, I would serve in the sound booth. A few years ago, I would go to a weekly event where the microphone almost never worked the way it was supposed to work. So, I had to ask myself: what needs to be done? Well, in that situation, someone needed to adjust settings on the mic and sound system.

Sometimes the needs presenting themselves are pain points – things we notice because something went wrong. Other times those needs are rather basic – chairs set out and organized, tables prepared, equipment set out, etc. But just as often, those needs are relational – a lone student looking to belong, a disconnected visitor, a forgotten regular, etc.

Either way, the first step to accomplishing a task is knowing what needs to be done. It all begins with awareness! Until we become aware of what’s happening around us, we cannot sustainably move forward in leadership.

Check back later this week for the continuation!

Or even better, click here to subscribe so you don’t miss a single point.

The Power of an Aha Moment

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Let’s talk about “Aha” moments. Those moments where someone says something and you almost instinctively push back, only to realize they’re right.

One of my aha moments came about 10 years ago. I was serving bi-vocationally at the church where I grew up. We were seeing some good growth, but we hit a bit of a ceiling. Then one day while listening to a podcast, probably while riding a 4-wheeler, I heard Josh Griffin say something to the effect of: 30 kids is about the max a youth minister will be able to sustain by himself.

To clarify: he was saying that if I was going to do ministry by myself, the biggest number I would be able to sustain would be about 30. We might balloon over that, but reality is we would never successfully grow past that.

And I was living it. The ministry had grown to about 30, but had hit a ceiling. I had my “aha” moment, and decided it was time to make a change.

So I started looking for an adult to recruit. That’s actually a very difficult thing to do in a small town, but I set out to do it. And I found someone willing to help.

Fast forward a few years, and at the peak of the ministry at my last church, we had a solid team of adults investing in and loving on students. In fact, the success we saw would not have happened without those adults.

Now, today, a couple years into a new role, I’ve spent a significant amount of time and energy investing in and encouraging adults, and we are set for growth.

Here’s the point: leadership development means recruiting and retaining.

This comes very naturally and easy to some people, but to others (like me), it takes continual, intentional effort. But it’s worth the effort. And more than that, it’s a blessing to the people we invite for the journey.

So, youth ministers: who can you recruit today? What are you waiting for?

Here’s to Mile Markers

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We all have mile markers in life. We have moments and memories that we will look back on as pivotal transitions, or just simply moments in time worth remembering. When the Hebrew people crossed the Jordan into the Promised Land, they set up stones to serve as reminders. Funny how that works.

I got a notification over the weekend that this site (Three Question Leadership) passed 10,000 views. Now, I don’t know if that’s a lot or a little. I have a hunch that four years to reach 10k is a little slow, but I’m grateful to hit it at all. Five years ago, I never would have imagined I would blog on such a consistent basis.

Let me take a moment to say thank you. Thank you for those of you who are regular readers and click each week. Thank you to the random visitor who may find this post later down the road. Thank you to anyone who has ever shared a post. Thank you to the people who comment or send me an encouraging text after reading a post. Thank you for walking with me. Thank you for indulging my ramblings.

What mile markers have recently passed in your life? Did you adequately celebrate them? Did you adequately grieve? Do you need to take some time to celebrate or grieve today? What’s holding you back?

In the meantime, here are a few of my favorite posts from the past 4+ years (the ones I think are worth understanding):

Enjoy! And here’s to the next 10k views.

3 Questions to Help You Grow as a Leader

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Earlier this week, I wrote about how our leadership development begins with us. I can’t make you grow, and you can’t make me grow. Ultimately, the decision is a personal one, and I hope one you’re willing to make. As you seek to grow in your leadership, here are three questions which I think you should be able to provide an answer.

  1. What was the last book on leadership you consumed? I chose the word “consumed” because I’m a little quirky. I don’t always read a book. In fact, I often find myself listening to audiobooks, with one caveat. For me, I don’t engage with audiobooks as well as I do with written word. But either way, there’s something about exploring leadership ideas and principles that opens our understanding and challenges us. So, again, I ask what was the last book on leadership you consumed? Here are a few of mine:

2. What was the last discussion about leadership you had? This goes a few different ways. When was the last time you went to someone with stronger leadership skills and asked questions? When was the last time you went to a leadership peer and asked questions? When was the last time you brought a less experienced leader alongside you and asked questions? Chances are if you’re not having discussions, at least occasionally, about leadership growth and development, then it’s probably not happening. Change that.

3. What was the last observation about leadership you had? I may be a little biased here, but I think if we’re not looking for leadership lessons and principles around us, then we are going to miss too many opportunities for growth. Pay attention to your own leadership. Note your flaws and your wins. Sometimes the best lessons we learn are ones we observe. Just this week I was reminded of a principle I observed over 10 years ago–and it’s still true!

Once again, at the end of the day, you’re responsible for your growth. What are you doing to grow? What are you going to do?

Leadership Growth Begins with…

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I’ve been on an interesting leadership journey the past 12 months.

It all started with an audio book. During the summer of COVID shutdowns, I had just finished our biggest event, and was looking to unwind a little bit. So, naturally, I stepped outside to my grill. As is my habit, I started listening to a book. But I didn’t want to just listen to a book, I wanted to engage with a book. So when the author talked about hitting pause and filling out an assessment, I did just that.

And I was shocked. So shocked, in fact, that I immediately bought the physical version of the book (because I know I engage better through a physical version). I invited a few friends to read through the book with me, and the five of us proceeded to know out a section per week for the next six weeks.

Running concurrently, I joined a leadership network with the intent of trying to grow in my own leadership. At some point, I got to jump on a call with the coach and he offered some insights that proved invaluable, practical, and inspirational.

And then I got intentional. Over the past year, I have walked side by side at least a dozen different leaders (most of them not even students!), seeking to invest in and inspire them. Some of these relationships are ongoing, and some are more seasonal. But in the process, I learned one thing: Leadership growth begins with me.

More specifically, my leadership growth begins with me.

If I want others to grow, I have to be willing to grow. If I want to make an impact in the lives of other people, I have to be willing to put forth the effort to grow myself.

The same is true for you. What are you doing to grow as a leader? What are you reading? To what are you listening? With whom are you surrounding yourself? What opportunities are you pursuing? How intentional are you being about growing? How intentional are you willing to be about growing?

At the end of the day, your greatest influence is always over yourself. What are you doing to lead yourself? What change do you need to make. What next step can you take to help?

I don’t usually do this, but if you’ve read this: I want you to comment your answer to one of the questions above. It can be on the blog, on Facebook, or a reply on Twitter. But I want to know what you’re doing, so that maybe it will help me grow, too. If you’re looking to make a change, I’d love to help encourage you along the way.

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