Incoherent Ramblings

What If We’re Not Satisfied?

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There’s a chance that what follows is something only I deal with, but I’m putting it out there just in case.

Do you ever feel like your habits and routines fall into the space inside of a rubber band? You do what you do, how you do it, and when you do it. Sometimes what you do works in your favor, but other times it doesn’t.

Take for example your eating habits. You eat what you eat for whatever reason (there’s a lot of psychology behind your eating habits and decisions, by the way). You go through life and have seasons where you decide it’s time to lose weight, so you try to change your eating habits. You stretch the rubber band, so to speak. But in trying to change your eating habits, you don’t really change the habits, you change what you eat. Then eventually it’s as though the rubber band snaps back to the original shape. It may be a week, a month, six months, two years (you get the point).

But eventually the rubber band snaps back. You’re back to your old habits because you never really broke the habits, you just paused them.

Just me? Well, even so, I’ll keep going.

What if you learned to break the rubber band? You see, when we break the rubber band, there’s no going back. We change our mindset about who we really are and don’t let the shape and elasticity of the rubber band define us.

This is possible. John Maxwell calls it the Law of the Lid. As you grow (raise the lid), things start to change.

Four years ago I broke the rubber band on my morning routine. Sure, there are times where I may try to tape it back in it’s original shape, but at the end of the day, I know I have a new reality.

What rubber band do you need to break in your life? Does it have to do with a mindset that limits your leadership? Is it your diet? Is it the people you allow to speak into your life? Is it your nightly routine, or your morning routine?

Chances are something needs to give. So go ahead, break the rubber band. Change your mindset and see what happens. Awaken that piece of you that has been waiting.

By wes, ago

What’s Your Growth Plan?

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I’ve been spending some time recently thinking about what it takes to grow. On occasion I will ask someone this question and won’t get much of a response.

I think everyone wants to grow, but growth rarely happens without intentionality. Unless it’s weight gain. So let’s take a step toward intentionality today.

What are you doing to grow? Do you have a written plan? Do you have a mental plan? Do you have practices in place to help?

If you were to create a written plan to grow, like a workout routine or training regimen, what would it look like?

Here’s mine:

  1. Books. I’m not an avid reader, but I’m trying to become better at it. I’ve read more books in the past three years than I had read in the previous 15. I listen to a large number of books, but I’ve also learned that I retain better when I actually see the words. I also know that I retain better when I read a book as part of a group, so I’ve participated in a few “book clubs” over the past couple of years.
  2. Podcasts. I listen to talk more than music, so I have a few key podcasts that are must listens and a few that I return to every so often because they challenge me in my leadership development. This isn’t always easy, but it helps stimulate my mind for sure.
  3. Evaluation. A blank whiteboard or yellow pad is my love language. I love dreaming about what could be in the context of what is. Am I doing a good job? How can I grow? What can I change to make something better? What am I forgetting?

I don’t have a written plan, but I will by the end of this week. If our leadership growth is important (Is it worth it?) and we are willing (Am I willing to grow?), then the time it takes to chart the course matters.

Let me challenge you to do the same, and share it with me! We are better when we grow together.

By wes, ago

The 2nd Question You Need to Answer for Leadership Growth

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Last October we had some work done on one of our flower beds. The bushes that were in the planter box were too big and breaking the box, so we had them taken out and replaced with some different plants.

Now, the fact that I can’t tell you what the plants were reveals a shortcoming in my master plan for beautifying my house, and conveniently enough, gives us a framework for today’s post. Funny how that works, right?

Last week I wrote about the first question you need to answer for leadership growth: “is the desired result worth the effort?”

For our planter box, the desired result (keeping the roots of bushes from destroying the box) was worth the effort. But I never asked the next question: am I willing to do what’s necessary to help the replacement plants grow?

The result? I arrive home most days and hope my new plants are just dormant and not dead. But they’re probably dead. I wasn’t willing to consider the effort it would take on my part to make sure the plants grew, which was a pretty low bar.

The same is true in our leadership journeys. Once we decide if the desired result is worth the effort, we stare face to face with the next question: Am I willing to grow as a leader?

This seems simple enough, but the reality is the two questions go hand in hand. Asking one without the other will only provide partial results – your planter box will be saved (1st question) but your new plants will die, OR you won’t actually do anything because you’re willing, but didn’t exert the effort.

Once again, ultimately the decision belongs to you. How will you answer?

By wes, ago

The 1st Question You Need to Answer for Leadership Growth

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Do you ever chase mental rabbits? I’m genuinely curious. I *think* other people do this, but I don’t know for certain.

Yesterday, I chased a mental rabbit. But, first, a short preface.

My goal with this blog is simple. It’s the tag line at the top of the page: helping you grow your leadership influence. The framework for that growth is actually remarkably simple: the three questions. I truly believe if you 1) learn to ask and answer the three questions, and 2) teach others to ask and answer the three questions, you will grow your leadership influence.

So much of what I write is geared towards student ministers (who actually don’t read this very often, #fail), but I honestly believe anyone willing to grow can benefit from the ideas and concepts I share.

Ultimately, however, whoever you are and however you found this post, every single one of us has to answer one question before we embark on a leadership journey. Whether you’re debating whether or not you need to take steps to grow your own leadership, or whether or not you need to take steps to grow leaders around you, there is one question that should come before all other questions. Are you ready?

Is the desired result (leadership growth) worth the effort?

We can never grow our leadership influence in the long run without intentionality. It just doesn’t happen that way. No one stumbles into success. No team ever trips into winning a championship. Success takes intentionality. Growth requires a mindset shift.

So, is growing in your own leadership development worth the effort? Guess who gets to answer that question? YOU!

Or, maybe, you know the answer and you’re trying to decide if you should start developing the people around you, whether it’s teenagers or adults, or both. The same question applies. Is investing in the growth and development of potential leaders around you worth the effort? Surprise surprise, there’s only one person who gets to make that call: YOU!

If I may be so bold, let me nudge you in the direction of yes. The desired result (leadership growth for you and those you influence) is absolutely worth the effort. But you wouldn’t expect me to answer any other way, right?

By wes, ago

Do You Self Sabotage This Way?

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I’m grateful for my wife, most days. But yesterday was different.

We were having a good conversation, filled with emotion, and she had to go and ask a question of me I didn’t want to answer. What’s worse, it’s a question I’ve learned to ask her over the years.

What was the question?

Are you answering “no” for them without ever asking?

Do you ever do this? Do you have a conversation in your head with another person where you either a) ask them for something or b) share something, and then because of the imaginary conversation decide not to move forward?

“They’ll only say no.”

“What’s the point? They’re not going to listen.”

“What good will it do? Why should I even try?”

These imaginary conversations make no sense to me, until I do it myself. Because I know everyone’s heart. I know exactly how everyone will react or respond. I know what will happen before it happens, because I’m smarter than everyone else. Or maybe not.

When we answer no for someone else, we are robbing them of the opportunity to surprise us and say yes. What’s more, we are robbing ourselves of the growth that comes from the exchange. There’s something humbling in asking for help or sharing thoughts, and who can’t benefit from a little extra humility now and then?

So, who are you answering “no” for, without ever asking the question? What imaginary conversations do you need to stop having? What are you waiting for?

By wes, ago
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