Category: Incoherent Ramblings

Learn From Your Mistakes

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Learn from your mistakes. Seems like a simple concept, right?

But when was the last time you stopped to ask yourself if you’re truly learning from your mistakes? When was the last time you admitted you made a mistake?

I think there’s a fine line in here. I never want to wear a badge of “proud to make mistakes” on my chest, because mistakes are embarrassing. But I also never want to wear a badge of “mistake free since ’93” either.

Mistakes come from 2 places. New mistakes and mistakes of comfort.

New mistakes happen because we are trying something new. We step out of our normal routine, maybe swing for the fences with something, and make a mistake along the way. Whether the something we tried is a success or a failure on the whole, the mistakes we make are all part of the learning process.

Mistakes of comfort, on the other hand, happen because we are too lazy to correct them. Sound harsh? It may be, but that doesn’t make it less true. Mistakes of comfort are the result of knowing we are making a mistake, but we’ve made it so many times that we know the outcome and think we can live with it. Mistakes of comfort are dangerous and damaging to our leadership.

If you want to grow as a leader, take some time to evaluate the last few months. What mistakes of comfort keep popping up? My tendency is to laugh them off, but I know they need to change. What about you?

The bottom line is this: if you desire to grow as a leader, you need to learn to eliminate mistakes of comfort but maximize new mistakes. Taking risks can aid growth, but accepting mediocrity kills it.

The Last Little Bit

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I am very excited about what’s coming up in April. Last year I did a series I called “Lessons from the Farm”, and starting next week, I am going to revive the series with new posts and leadership lessons.

But first, let’s talk about pushing through.

Last summer my wife and I bought a house just outside the city limits, down a country road. It sounds more majestic than it really is. We live about 1/2 mile off a paved road, but almost all of it is either caliche or some kind of gravel. The last 50 yards, however, is straight dirt.

There are benefits to living outside of town, but there’s also one draw back I was reminded of this week: dirt plus water equals mud.

We have gotten somewhere north of 2 inches of rain this week. My yard is greening up nicely. My trees are starting to show signs of growth. But my road is a mess.

I think this happens in leadership, too. We can have things around us going well: our team is clicking, our projects/events are rocking, and our communication is top notch, but there always seems to be the last 50 yards of mess.

Part of this is natural. Rain plus dirt equals mud. But vegetation plus moisture equals growth. A muddy road (and filthy vehicle) mean growth is coming.

Part of the mess, however, is because of a choice. Someone chose to stop putting caliche down 50 yards before my driveway. There was a choice made to stop at a certain point, and I live with the results.

So, let me ask you this today: what steps have you taken to offset the 50 yards of mess in your life?

In other words, are you content simply living with chaos in one area because you’re seeing growth in others?

Or, are you willing to address the chaos in the hopes of being able to enjoy the success?

Get More From a Phone Call

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Have you ever done Amway? Or something similar?

Years ago, when my wife and I were fresh out of college with a baby in diapers, we found ourselves in a group of people selling Amway (or the North American branch). The experience was what you would expect. We had no problems with any of it, but after a while decided it wasn’t for us.

I will never forget, however, one of the meetings. It was in a hotel conference room, and we were listening to a guy give a speech to encourage and recruit. One of the things he said was profoundly simple, yet incredibly powerful.

When you call someone to have what could be a significant conversation (let’s say 2 minutes or more), first ask if they have time.

Asking such a question may seem counter-intuitive, but here’s my experience employing that simple concept over the past almost 10 years: it works. It communicates I want to respect how someone else uses their time. It gives the other person a chance to say “Let me call you back in 5 minutes after I finish my current task” or “I’m busy at the moment, but you can call me back in 30 minutes.”

But most importantly, it allows the other person to be fully engaged with our conversation.

Over the years, I have found the times where I take for granted someone is free to talk and skip past the question, are usually the times  when I get cut off in mid sentence and they ask to call me back in a little while.

So, for the rest of this week, when you make a phone call, I want you to start by asking the other person: do you have time to talk? See what happens. Be okay if they’re busy at the moment, the engagement you’ll get back when you finally talk will make a difference.

And at the very least, you will communicate a respect for the other person’s time, and we all win when we show respect.

Have Some Fun

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Today’s thought is extra short, but also timely: have fun.

With March Madness kicking off today, I’m looking forward to some basketball. I just spent a few minutes with my youngest, letting her pick games. What exactly does a 6 year old think when picking basketball games? I don’t know, but we will see how she did.

Part of being a healthy leader is finding things you enjoy and embracing them. So, today, have some fun! Get outside. Watch Basketball. Play a card game with your family. Grill. Build. Demolish.

Whatever it means for you, have some fun today.

Context is Key

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I had to make a pretty major change to our summer calendar this week. It was something I never really considered until I had to give it some serious thought, and we pulled the trigger.

As I thought about the leadership principle that drove the decision, I realized the decision itself is not something that applies to most leaders, and really probably doesn’t apply to most churches. But, there’s a larger principle that luckily provides a thought for the day: Context is key.

What works in Bronte may not work in the next town over. We have a unique culture. We are different from other communities, but other communities are unique and different as well.

Part of your role as a leader is to understand the context and culture where you are leading. What things are sacred cows in your community? What things are highly valued? What quirks exist?

Think of it like this: if you and I were to sit down for coffee and talk about your leadership journey, what would you feel like needs an explanation? What aspect of your surrounding might seem strange to me?

So, take some time today and evaluate the context where you are leading. If you serve a church, what barrier are you bumping up against that is a result of context and culture? If you lead outside the church, what obstacle are you facing today because of the unique context around you?

I am not saying that we have to accept the context around us as being unchangeable, but sometimes accepting reality is the first step to making a change.

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