Category: Leadership Journey

Some Pain Is Growth

As we grow in our leadership, we are going to face situations that are annoying and painful. What’s the root of the pain? Good leadership is not void of pain. Good leadership understands the difference between beneficial (and necessary) pain and toxic pain.

Share this:
Share

About 15 months ago I started lifting weights for the first time in my adult life. Nothing too strenuous, but I wanted to develop a healthy lifestyle and thought that was a good step. But not knowing how to really go about it, I recruited a friend.

I’m so grateful for my friend who showed me the ropes. What I’m not grateful for is his approach. I joked early on that he wasn’t happy unless he was miserable after working out. But I’m not sure if it’s a joke…

Ultimately, however, certain pain after a workout is an indication of a good workout. Because sometimes pain means growth.

As we grow in our leadership, we are going to face situations that are annoying and painful. What’s the root of the pain? Good leadership is not void of pain. Good leadership understands the difference between beneficial (and necessary) pain and toxic pain.

So how do you know if pain is growing pain? Here are three questions to help you process growing pains:

  1. Does it make you address something that needs to be addressed? Your pain may result from a weak structure, or unclear communication. Lean into addressing the situation and reap the results later.
  2. Is the pain a result of growth? Maybe what you were doing last year or three years ago worked when what you led was smaller, but as you’ve grown, you need to re-evaluate. Pain because of growth still hurts, but gives you an opportunity to adjust and grow even more!
  3. Will addressing the pain point put you in a better spot? Are you ready to grow as a result of the pain? Push through, do what you need to do, and enjoy the fruit of your labor.

Ultimately, some pain is good pain. Is there a situation you’re walking through now where you need to reframe the pain point from negative to understanding it’s a positive pain? How does that change your approach and mindset?

Development is a Choice

Development is a choice. If we are going to grow in our leadership, there are some choices we need to make.

Share this:
Share

A lot can happen in 12 months. A lot can not happen in 12 months.

I started this blog in 2017, and wrote consistently for 5+ years. Then, for the past 12+ months, I haven’t written. So, a lot has not happened here in the past 12 months.

For the majority of the past year I was undecided as to whether or not I was on a break or if I had reached the conclusion of the 3QL blog; Until a recent conversation with a mentor where I realized the value of writing these posts.

I grow more as a leader when I’m synthesizing my thoughts into a 300ish word blog post.

Writing forces me to focus. Writing forces me to pay attention for thoughts and ideas that could be new posts. Writing forces creativity. Writing allows me to process situations.

I know the benefits listed above, but what decisions am I going to make as a result?

Here’s the principle: development is a choice. If I’m going to grow in my leadership, there are some choices I need to make. Writing provides that avenue, as does reading, listening, and even watching.

The same is true for you. I know I’ve spent this entire post in a self-indulgent rambling, but I have a point.

Are you choosing to grow in your own leadership development? Are you making a decision each day that will set you up to grow? Are you willing to make such a decision?

Development is different than growth. Growth happens naturally. Watch the weeds in your yard. Watch your waistline. We know that growth can happen without much intentionality. But development is different. The most effective development happens with intentionality.

So how are you being intentional to develop in your leadership?

The 2nd Question You Need to Answer for Leadership Growth

Share this:
Share

Last October we had some work done on one of our flower beds. The bushes that were in the planter box were too big and breaking the box, so we had them taken out and replaced with some different plants.

Now, the fact that I can’t tell you what the plants were reveals a shortcoming in my master plan for beautifying my house, and conveniently enough, gives us a framework for today’s post. Funny how that works, right?

Last week I wrote about the first question you need to answer for leadership growth: “is the desired result worth the effort?”

For our planter box, the desired result (keeping the roots of bushes from destroying the box) was worth the effort. But I never asked the next question: am I willing to do what’s necessary to help the replacement plants grow?

The result? I arrive home most days and hope my new plants are just dormant and not dead. But they’re probably dead. I wasn’t willing to consider the effort it would take on my part to make sure the plants grew, which was a pretty low bar.

The same is true in our leadership journeys. Once we decide if the desired result is worth the effort, we stare face to face with the next question: Am I willing to grow as a leader?

This seems simple enough, but the reality is the two questions go hand in hand. Asking one without the other will only provide partial results – your planter box will be saved (1st question) but your new plants will die, OR you won’t actually do anything because you’re willing, but didn’t exert the effort.

Once again, ultimately the decision belongs to you. How will you answer?

The 1st Question You Need to Answer for Leadership Growth

Ultimately, however, whoever you are and however you found this post, every single one of us has to answer one question before we embark on a leadership journey.

Share this:
Share

Do you ever chase mental rabbits? I’m genuinely curious. I *think* other people do this, but I don’t know for certain.

Yesterday, I chased a mental rabbit. But, first, a short preface.

My goal with this blog is simple. It’s the tag line at the top of the page: helping you grow your leadership influence. The framework for that growth is actually remarkably simple: the three questions. I truly believe if you 1) learn to ask and answer the three questions, and 2) teach others to ask and answer the three questions, you will grow your leadership influence.

So much of what I write is geared towards student ministers (who actually don’t read this very often, #fail), but I honestly believe anyone willing to grow can benefit from the ideas and concepts I share.

Ultimately, however, whoever you are and however you found this post, every single one of us has to answer one question before we embark on a leadership journey. Whether you’re debating whether or not you need to take steps to grow your own leadership, or whether or not you need to take steps to grow leaders around you, there is one question that should come before all other questions. Are you ready?

Is the desired result (leadership growth) worth the effort?

We can never grow our leadership influence in the long run without intentionality. It just doesn’t happen that way. No one stumbles into success. No team ever trips into winning a championship. Success takes intentionality. Growth requires a mindset shift.

So, is growing in your own leadership development worth the effort? Guess who gets to answer that question? YOU!

Or, maybe, you know the answer and you’re trying to decide if you should start developing the people around you, whether it’s teenagers or adults, or both. The same question applies. Is investing in the growth and development of potential leaders around you worth the effort? Surprise surprise, there’s only one person who gets to make that call: YOU!

If I may be so bold, let me nudge you in the direction of yes. The desired result (leadership growth for you and those you influence) is absolutely worth the effort. But you wouldn’t expect me to answer any other way, right?

Do You Self Sabotage This Way?

I’m grateful for my wife, most days. But yesterday was different. We were having a good conversation, filled with emotion, and she had to go and ask a question of me I didn’t want to answer. What’s worse, it’s a question I’ve learned to ask her over the years.

Share this:
Share

I’m grateful for my wife, most days. But yesterday was different.

We were having a good conversation, filled with emotion, and she had to go and ask a question of me I didn’t want to answer. What’s worse, it’s a question I’ve learned to ask her over the years.

What was the question?

Are you answering “no” for them without ever asking?

Do you ever do this? Do you have a conversation in your head with another person where you either a) ask them for something or b) share something, and then because of the imaginary conversation decide not to move forward?

“They’ll only say no.”

“What’s the point? They’re not going to listen.”

“What good will it do? Why should I even try?”

These imaginary conversations make no sense to me, until I do it myself. Because I know everyone’s heart. I know exactly how everyone will react or respond. I know what will happen before it happens, because I’m smarter than everyone else. Or maybe not.

When we answer no for someone else, we are robbing them of the opportunity to surprise us and say yes. What’s more, we are robbing ourselves of the growth that comes from the exchange. There’s something humbling in asking for help or sharing thoughts, and who can’t benefit from a little extra humility now and then?

So, who are you answering “no” for, without ever asking the question? What imaginary conversations do you need to stop having? What are you waiting for?

WP to LinkedIn Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com