Three Years Later

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Three years ago this past weekend we said goodbye to my father in law, Andy Hill. You can read more about my reflections in the days that followed by clicking here. Today, I’d like to share a good memory I have of him.

When I decided it was getting close to time to ask Mica to marry me, I knew what came next: asking Andy for his permission.

I was 19 years old at the time. And even writing that today reinforces how young and naive I was. Not because I was getting engaged at such a young age, but because in my mind I was plenty old enough to get engaged. But I digress.

I reached out to Andy and said I had something I wanted to talk to him about and we set up a time to talk. I was understandably nervous, not because I thought he would say no, but because asking for someone’s daughter’s hand in marriage is a once in a lifetime conversation. How do you prepare for that? What’s the lead in? No, really, what’s the first sentence you say in that situation?

I showed up to Andy’s office and he was talking with a friend. I kind of awkwardly and reflectively sat down on his couch after introductions were made and waited for them to finish.

Then, Andy did the thing I least expected. To end his conversation with his friend, he said, “Well, I better let you go. I think this young man is going to ask to marry my daughter.”

Andy had a way of knowing how to navigate conversations. He could read the moment and disarm it. And in that moment he gave me one of the greatest gifts he could: he started the conversation.

As I wrote the first time I reflected on his life, I don’t have a bow or a principle to take from this. I’m just grateful to have had him in my life for as long as I did, and I’m grateful that I get to help carry on his legacy in some way.

Thanks for indulging me today.

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