Helping Expand Your Leadership Influence
Have you ever intended to have a conversation, but just couldn’t find the right time? What if the “right time” is actually the wrong time to look for?
In today’s flashback, I talk about the difference between the “right time” and the “necessary time”. And it’s a principle I return to all the time.
Take the time today to click over and read the post “Don’t Hide from Hard Conversations.” I think it will be encouraging and challenging.
I think I’m a bit of a unicorn. Why? Because my cheesy pickup line effectiveness is 100%. In other words, the woman to whom I’m married, fell in love with my clever charm and wit from the beginning.
Okay, maybe not. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m 1 for 1.
Rejection hurts. I may not have experienced rejection as part of my only serious romantic relationship, but I’ve been told no many times.
One summer, as I was preparing for camp, I asked ten different women to go as a sponsor, and every single one said no. We were in desperate need, and I felt helpless.
Again, let me say, rejection hurts. Rejection demeans and beats down. Rejection makes us doubt our purpose and mission.
And if you’re like me, the fear of rejection paralyzes you.
I will put off asking a question because I’m afraid the answer will be no, when in reality the longer I wait the more likely the answer will be no. Can you say self-fulfilling prophecy?
One of the things I’m learning currently, yet still struggling to put into practice, is that people are willing to help. It’s just a matter of finding the right person to help.
Sometimes a no is exactly the right answer.
That’s why, as leaders, we have to get comfortable with the answer no. I would rather have an honest “no” than a fake or resentful “yes”. Because when I find that “yes”, they’re going to go above and beyond.
When we learn to push past the fear of rejection and continually work the three questions, our leadership will continue to grow.
How about you? How are you at asking for help or involvement? Are you willing to face rejection for the sake of growth? Is anything holding you back?
I am in the process of interviewing students who applied for our Student Leadership Team. The application process is two fold: a written application and an interview.
The written application is a compilation of 9 questions. The questions help give me insight into how these students think about leadership–which is always insightful. One of the questions, specifically, asks how they hope to grow from their time on the leadership team, and from that I learn what they expect leadership team to look like.
But there’s more to my reasoning than just to get an inside look. Here are four reasons why I have an application process for Student Leaders:
I have never turned away a kid who applied, although I have had one who filled out the application but at the interview decided to back out (which I agreed with wholeheartedly).
What does your application process look like for student leaders? Does your experience line up with mine? I’d love to hear from you!
Leadership is tough. The constant battle that wages war between finding a groove and not being satisfied with where things are can take a toll over time.
Comfort versus progress provide the background for an ongoing tension.
That’s where vision and focus come into play. During seasons where comfort starts to settle into a situation, a clear vision helps me move forward.
Knowing what your target should be helps orient your aim at the end of the day. Having an idea of how to track your success and growth helps you not feel overwhelmed.
What’s your vision and focus for your current context? Do you have one? How are you measuring your successfulness? Ministers, is it attendance? Is it buy in? Is it something else?
As a leader, no one in the organization is as committed to the success and fruitfulness of your area as you are (or should be). Few people you lead lay their head down at night worrying about that little detail that has been rubbing you the wrong way all day.
You carry a burden for the success and growth of your ministry (or business). The burden, at times, feels feather light, while at other times it feels like a bag of bricks. That’s the burden of leadership. Your greatest test as a leader may not be your success as much as your endurance. If you can run the race and remain faithful, your impact over the years gains positive perspective. But you have to remain faithful where you are. You have to remain committed.
So, once again, what your vision and focus for your current context? What are you aiming for? Are you hitting it? Are there changes that need to be made? Are you willing to make the changes?
The reality is that leadership is tough, but you have an opportunity to take a stand and make the kind of difference you’re called to make. Hang in there, and keep expanding your leadership influence.
I had a nickname in high school: Slow Motion. Care to guess where it came from? Well, it wasn’t my speed. It was my lack of it.
I’m a big guy. Back then, I was just a tall guy, but I’ve never been quick. As a result, my lack of speed constantly haunts me. Okay, that may be a little extreme. But you get the idea.
In leadership, however, one of the mistakes we are often tempted to make is moving too slow. This happens for two main reasons:
But, what are the benefits of not allowing fear and ease to cause us to move too slow? Simple: progress.
When we learn to fight against the urge to move too slow, then we start to see progress. We are able to develop more people. We are able to move more people forward. We are able to stand up to our fear and apprehension because we have experienced the other side.
Naturally, there’s a balance between moving too fast and moving too slow. So ask yourself two question: 1) which side do I lean towards? and 2) Does it seem to work to my benefit?
If your answer to the second question is no, then guess what? You need to start trying to move the other way. If you’re naturally a “wait and see” leader and find yourself constantly regretting your patience, then start moving toward action. The same is true if you’re an action oriented person who regularly leaves a trail of bodies in your wake.
There’s always room to grow, but the question always comes down to: are you willing to evaluate in order to grow?
