Tag: Decisions

When Mistakes Are Not Mistakes, pt 1

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We’ve all been there–the frustration of leading. You pour hours into a project or event, only to experience sub-par results. Or you have to make a decision in the moment, only to realize later you made the wrong choice. Anyone who has been in a leadership role can identify.

Today, we are looking at a few mistakes we make in leadership, that even though they feel like a colossal failure in the moment, they are actually not mistakes.

Making the Wrong Decision.

You will never know how to make the right decision if you never make the wrong one. This concept seems simple enough, but being wrong stings. No one likes to make mistakes. Doesn’t a mistake mean we failed? Not exactly.

A mistake means you made a decision. Decision making requires experience. You gain experience by making decisions, and evaluate the right decision by understanding the wrong decision. So, in the end, making the wrong decision almost always leads to a step in the right direction.

The test here, interestingly enough, boils down to how soon you realize you made the wrong decision, and your response from that time forward.

The bottom line is making the wrong decision is a necessary part of leadership. We will never know or grow if we never make mistakes.

The real mistake is making the same mistake, repeatedly. If we make a decision in the moment, and fail to realize it is the wrong decision after the fact, we will make the same decision the next time. Failing to learn and adapt means we fail to lead effectively.

So, as I ask so often, what mistakes are you making and learning from? What mistakes are you making and not learning from? What needs to shift or change this week so you can move forward and grow your leadership influence.

Be sure to come back next week, as we talk about a couple more mistakes that aren’t mistakes. Or you can subscribe and get the next posts in your email inbox the day they post!

Connect with Other Leaders

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I got to spend the first part of my week at the Texas Baptist Youth Ministry Conclave in Arlington this week. For years I have always gone with the intent of connecting with friends and picking some insight up along the way.

This year, I was reminded why I enjoy connecting with other ministers.

I worked the booth for Horizon Camps and Resources, so I was able to interact with a variety of people. We gave away YooHoo (the official camp drink of Horizon Camps), but the better part was being able to reconnect with friends I have developed along the way.

One minister, in particular, I engage several times each year, but Tuesday I realized how much we had in common, and I was grateful for an opportunity to process some things together.

Today’s lesson is a simple one, but it’s this: connect with other leaders. If you are able to network regularly, keep it up! If you are one of the people who naturally engage with others, embrace that.

But, if you’re like me, I intentionally force myself to connect. Not because I think I am better, but because connections do not come easily for me.

Who are two leaders with whom you identify and respect? What would it take to call them up and invite them to coffee, or to do a video call if the distance is too great?

The truth is we pursue what is important to us. If growth is important, you will pursue it. If connection is important, you will pursue it. If relationship is important, you will pursue it. But, if your priorities are somewhere else, you will avoid the others out of necessity.

Make connecting with other leaders an intentional part of you life and priorities, and see what happens next.

3 Reasons to Ask for Help

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Okay, so you are a leader. You are probably even good at some (if not most) of the stuff you do. But have you ever considered your ability to do more is actually a hindrance to those around you? Leaders fail when they fail to ask for help.

Think about it. The more you accomplish, the less the people around you are able to accomplish.

Granted, we are approaching today’s topic from a different perspective, possibly even a counter-intuitive place. But if we are going to buy into the 3 questions to help us grow as a leader then we have to admit a few things.

Here are 3 reasons why you should ask the people around you to help:

  1. You’ll make fewer mistakes. When you focus on what you should be doing and let other people handle the rest, you are able to do your part better. Have you ever tried to juggle? Like actually tried to juggle? Juggling two things is pretty easy, almost natural for most people. Adding a third is more challenging, but definitely accomplishable. Juggling four things, however, is something few people can do well, ask Four Toed Frank the Knife Juggler. The truth is when you ask someone to help, your own effectiveness goes up.
  2. You will frustrate fewer people. Someone who can think for themselves doesn’t want to feel useless. Put another way, high performing people do not want to feel sidelined, so let them get in the game. Taking a step back and bringing them into (or appropriately handing off) the conversation (or project, or task) allows them to feel helpful and fulfilled, thus expanding your leadership influence and theirs. And as a result, they will likely hang around longer because they feel useful.
  3. You’ll get better at your job. When you focus on one thing, you’ll learn how to do it better. Being a jack of all trades, but a master of none is not a desirable trait! This is hard to say, because this is who I am. I do a lot of things, but I only do a few things well. When I spend my focus and energy on the things I do well, I get better and those around me benefit.

The more I teach and talk to other leaders about the three questions, the more I realize the biggest impediment to impact is failing to empower those around you to serve. If you want to see your leadership impact grow exponentially, learn how to ask people to help.

Build Your Community

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I fancy myself a runner. Well, at least I used to be. I’ve never been fast, but a few years back I trained for a half marathon, and found I really enjoy a nice run. I’m back in it now, but it’s been a slow process.

More than the training, however, I’m part of a group of people who run and share our run stats with each other. This is not a group where we brag about how fast we are, but we all encourage one another to keep up the good work.

And that encouragement means the world.

I’m also part of what I facetiously call a “brain trust” with two fellow ministers. We get together periodically for coffee and to talk about ministry. Our primary goal is to provide each other with a safe outlet for processing situations, and to sharpen one another.

The bottom line is this: we need people who will encourage us and help us become better.

We all need accountability and encouragement. This is especially true in leadership.

Something I have noticed, though, is not everyone leans toward surrounding themselves with a group like these. I don’t think it’s a introvert/extrovert thing, because I am an introvert who values a group meeting. And I don’t think it’s a time in ministry thing, either.

I think some people are wired to ask for advice and help, and others are not. The reality, however, is the challenges we face will be significantly more manageable when we have done the hard work of creating a network of people who will encourage, correct, advocate, and brainstorm with us.

Who gives you advice and perspective? Who gives you genuine affirmation? Who wants you to become a better leader? Give those people access to your life and watch the difference.

 

Check It Out: Overcoming Job Shaming

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How old were you when you got your first job? How old were/are/will your children when they got their first job? Is there a difference?

I think most people my age grew up watching the Cosby show, so when I saw this article talking about one of the characters and what he’s up to now, I was intrigued.

Tim Elmore starts his article like this:

I’m not sure if you caught it, but actor Geoffrey Owens recently appeared on ABC’s “Good Morning America” after an incident that took place in New York. You might remember Owens as the actor known for his comedic role as Elvin Tibideaux on The Cosby Show, between 1985 and 1992.

Now, if you’re familiar with Elmore, you know he works extensively with teenagers, so his take takes a practical twist for those of us in student ministry. If you have time, I’d strongly urge you to click over and read the article. Also, if you have a soft spot for Elvin, check it out too.

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