Tag: perseverance

The Pendulum Swing

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I think there are two types of people in the world: those who have a plan before starting something, and those who build the plan as they go along.

Maybe it’s more of a pendulum arc, where the you are somewhere on the swing of the pendulum, but it’s possible to display a little bit of both.

When I was in my early 20s, I valued my ability to shoot from the hip. As I’ve gotten older, I value preparation and forethought, but I still land on the “let’s throw this up in the air and see where it lands” side of the arc.

Starting something new can be challenging. For me, someone who values a little chaos, it’s hard to anticipate the speed-bumps encountered by those we lead. That’s what happened this past week.

We are in the building phase of a student worship team at my church, and had our first practice on Sunday. My goal going in to practice was to try to discern, in the midst of the chaos, where we were as a group. I walked away encouraged and ready to move forward.

Then I got the text. One of the students was overwhelmed in the moment, created a not-based-on-reality scenario in their head, and was ready to step down.

At the core, it was my fault. I did not prepare them fully for what I was looking for in practice, once again letting key information get trapped in my head (click here to read a previous post about this). The result: frustration, fear, worry, and ultimately feelings of inadequacy.

Would this student have felt these things regardless? Possibly. But did I do everything I could have done to help them prepare? No.

So maybe my pendulum hasn’t reached where it needs to reach.

I truly believe there’s no perfect balance in this. I think we have things that make us strong. But, I do believe if we allow ourselves to completely neglect one side, we start to alienate a lot of people along the way, and our influence diminishes. Ultimately, if we only embrace our strength, then we only lead people who operate like us, thus diminishing our leadership capability.

What about you? Where do you land on the arc? Do you swing to the side of “everything needs a plan and a purpose”? Or do you swing to “step first, look second”? How has that benefited you in the past month? How has it hurt you? What change do you need to make this week?

Reframing Student Leadership

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I saw a youth ministry related facebook post the other day asking how the collective hive mind selects student leaders. I think this is an extremely legitimate question, but one that needs a quick reframing.

Let me start by zooming out. The bottom line when it comes to leadership development is that I am not the only person interested in developing students into growing leaders. In fact, depending on their extracurricular activities, I may be one of multiple people interested in helping them expand their leadership influence.

As we zoom in, however, we start to see a few key differences. Of all the people in a student’s life who want them to grow as a leader, I may be one of a select few who are interested in teaching servant leadership, and more specifically, servant leadership as modeled and taught by Jesus.

So, when I look at a room of students and want to select a few student leaders, my approach is a little different. I have written about two key traits for student leaders previously (you can read that here), but one of my criteria is willingness to serve. If a student is unwilling to serve, then neither of us grow from the time we spend.

I watched this play out first hand. I used to think if I saw leadership potential in a student, they would benefit from me calling it out of them. But there was a flaw in my approach. I was calling something out of a student who wasn’t willing to serve, and as a result their commitment level was abnormally low, and even started to resent me for expecting them to show up.

Now I take a different approach. Most recently, I have students fill out an application and sit down for an interview before joining the leadership team. If a student is willing to put forth the effort of filling out an application and scheduling an interview, then we have an agreement there will be a time commitment to what they’re doing.

I cannot call something out of someone who is unwilling to grow.

Guilting a student into leadership misses the point.

Only allowing the popular kids to lead misses the point.

Establishing leadership as a higher rung misses the point.

On Thursday I will continue this thought, but for today let me ask you to join me in considering this: is your approach to developing leaders around you a healthy one? Are you willing to make the changes necessary? Are you willing to keep what needs to be kept?

Watching leaders grow their leadership influence is one of the most exciting parts of what I do. But that doesn’t mean everything is a win. I have had to adapt over the years. Maybe you need to do the same thing.

Want to stay in the discussion? Click here to subscribe to make certain you get Thursday’s post continuing this thought.

3 Observations about Developing Student Leaders

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Last week I got to spend time at camp with a group of six student leaders. For the last three summers, I have helped develop and grow what we call the Horizon Leadership Camp (HLC).

The concept is simple: when a church group comes to camp, they have the option to have a student or two apply for HLC. The student goes to camp with their own church group, is part of a leadership focused small group, help lead rec, and pour back into someone from their group–trying to grow relationships that will last well beyond camp.

In total, HLC has convened seven times over the past three summers, and I have been in the room for most of them (although not all). Along the way, there are a few things I’ve started to notice:

  1. Students are hungry for the leadership conversation. Some of the students who walk into HLC have been through some leadership training already, but nowhere near all of them. Prior training or not, however, almost every student has been hungry for the leadership lessons and the opportunity to step up and lead.
  2. Shared experiences build community. Kind of a “no duh” statement, right? But it’s true, and I’ve watched it play out over and over. As the students lead rec, get put in awkward situations thanks to over-zealous adult leaders (rarely students), and then evaluate their time, they begin to trust one another more and more, which in turn makes the processing times even more rich.
  3. Youth Ministers benefit from the leadership conversation with students. I know this is true for me, and again, I’ve seen it play out over and over. As a student comes into HLC, the youth minister is challenged to up their leadership in order to help their student grow.

All in all, I have learned so much about myself over the past three summers (running concurrently with the beginning of this blog, if you hadn’t made the connection). Few things in ministry excite and energize me as much as being able to have authentic conversations with a student who is wrestling with their own understanding and ability to lead. In turn, my leadership influence grows as I challenge those around me to grow.

So, as I ask from time to time, Student ministers: what are you doing to train your student leaders? How are you equipping them? How are you pouring into them? What opportunities are you providing them? Where do you need to start?

Leadership & Relationship

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This morning I found a journal that was given to me almost 17 years ago. In it were notes written from youth group members of my home church. The words were encouraging, hopeful (stay in touch!), and affirming, even 17 years later.

As I was reading their words, I was reminded of something: the most impactful leadership rarely happens outside of relationship.

Reading people who write (or blog) about leadership is imperative to leadership development, but the most impactful leadership happens in relationship.

I have a regular habit of watching a video on leadership development at the beginning of each work day, but my life is impacted more by personal relationships.

Our greatest leadership impact is to those whom we lead relationally. When we invest in those around us, our influence begins to grow exponentially. The mistakes we make, the victories we experience, and the joys we experience grow because of the one on one relationship.

But the relationship has to start somewhere.

How are you doing at developing relationships? Are you listening to people, or simply waiting for a chance to speak up? Do you care for those around you, or are they simply a means to an end?

The words I read this morning reminded me–those words came as a result of relationship. Not because of my “great” ability to lead, my wisdom, or my extreme good looks. The impact that was made blossomed out of relationship.

How are you investing in those around you? Is there something that needs to change? Is there something you’re doing that needs to be duplicated? Make a difference today, build a relationship.

The Difference Maker

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Willingness makes the difference in leadership. I have written about this before, but like so many leadership lessons, I keep seeing it played out time and again.

Give me two kids: one with natural leadership ability and little desire to make a positive impact, and one with lower natural leadership ability and a high desire to make a positive impact, and I’ll choose the second every day.

A student (or adult, for that matter) who is unwilling to take steps to make a difference will stall in their development. Sure, they have a natural ability, but without the desire to get better or to make those around them better, they will not truly succeed.

A student who is willing to step up and humbly serve, while not necessarily getting all the public praise and affirmations, in the long run will greatly impact those around them. A willing leader is willing to lead, willing to grow, willing to serve, willing to help others achieve more, and willing to make a difference.

I am incapable of changing someone’s mind. I can try to guilt someone into showing up or stepping up, but until it becomes a priority in their life, then my effort is wasted.

Does this mean we give up on natural leaders who are unwilling to lead? No. But it does mean we learn to find the point where we are just spinning our wheels instead of making progress.

Who in your life needs some attention today? Who is in your sphere of influence and willing to try to lead? What can you do to help develop and strengthen their desire and ability? Now, go do it!

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