Tag: perspective

What Lurks Beneath

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Every teenager has leadership potential. More than potential, however, every teenager has influence. My job, as someone who desires to expand my leadership influence, is to help students learn to do the same.

Over my time working with students, I’ve developed a conviction or two. One of those convictions: sometimes a gruff exterior doesn’t mean a hard heart. In fact, sometimes the most amazing blessings come from being able to look beyond a teenager’s appearance and see the kind, gentle, humble heart hanging out below the surface.

But getting to the heart can be tricky more times than not. Some kids put up walls to prevent further hurt. Some kids put up fronts to keep people from knowing who they are. Some kids tear themselves down so their peers don’t have a chance to do so.

Adults do this, too. I don’t think this is a surprise to anyone. This is a people issue.

Our job, as leaders, is to try to look beyond the surface and to watch for glimpses of someone’s heart, then call that out of them. It’s not always easy, and it is often exhausting. But when you see someone step up and exert positive influence, it’s always worth it.

So, who is someone in your sphere of influence that needs a little extra attention? Whose personality is really strong, but may just be a front to hide what’s underneath because they’re afraid to let others know they’re kind and gentle? Who do you need to shift your view of today?

The Father-Leader Paradox

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I’m less than a month away from a milestone in my life: my oldest daughter is getting ready to move into the youth ministry.

I don’t know if you’ve thought about the dynamic of being a parent/youth minister, but I have been contemplating it pretty heavily over the past month or two. Here are five wishes I have for my daughter (and for any kid who joins us) as she moves into the youth ministry:

  1. I pray she finds an adult who will pour into and invest in her, that’s not me. I teach her at home. I correct her at home. I lead her at home. I try to speak life into her at home. She needs someone else to do those things at church. She needs an adult who will see her potential, and try to draw it out, working in concert with me as her father.
  2. I pray she keeps a heart willing to serve. As of right now, I don’t have to force her to do things, or at least not many things. She loves to serve. She is happy to go to the church and help with random odd jobs. I hope that never goes away.
  3. I pray she finds friends who build her up, and whom she can build up. Going to school, she may not always be surrounded by positive influences. I hope the other students in the youth ministry pour into and invest in her, and allow her to do the same, regardless of age gap.
  4. I pray she loves being involved. The combination of the three things above carries the potential for her to have a desire and passion to show up. I hope as she progresses through the ministry, that we are able to offer opportunities that keep her emotionally and mentally engaged, and that allow her to grow in her relationship with God.
  5. Finally, I pray that she will grow closer to God as a result of the time she spends in the youth ministry. After all, if I’m scheduling fun activities and not pointing kids to Christ, then I’m just an entertainer.

Now, look back over that list. There are some of those that I, as her youth minister, can influence. That’s why leadership development is so important to me. I want students aware and pouring into other students. I want adults loving on students. I want to provide opportunities to serve, and to create an atmosphere where students are not simply entertained, but challenged.

But I can’t do it alone. You can’t do it alone. We can’t do it alone. Bring people into the leadership discussion in your life. Expand your influence and watch growth happen.

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3 Observations about Developing Student Leaders

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Last week I got to spend time at camp with a group of six student leaders. For the last three summers, I have helped develop and grow what we call the Horizon Leadership Camp (HLC).

The concept is simple: when a church group comes to camp, they have the option to have a student or two apply for HLC. The student goes to camp with their own church group, is part of a leadership focused small group, help lead rec, and pour back into someone from their group–trying to grow relationships that will last well beyond camp.

In total, HLC has convened seven times over the past three summers, and I have been in the room for most of them (although not all). Along the way, there are a few things I’ve started to notice:

  1. Students are hungry for the leadership conversation. Some of the students who walk into HLC have been through some leadership training already, but nowhere near all of them. Prior training or not, however, almost every student has been hungry for the leadership lessons and the opportunity to step up and lead.
  2. Shared experiences build community. Kind of a “no duh” statement, right? But it’s true, and I’ve watched it play out over and over. As the students lead rec, get put in awkward situations thanks to over-zealous adult leaders (rarely students), and then evaluate their time, they begin to trust one another more and more, which in turn makes the processing times even more rich.
  3. Youth Ministers benefit from the leadership conversation with students. I know this is true for me, and again, I’ve seen it play out over and over. As a student comes into HLC, the youth minister is challenged to up their leadership in order to help their student grow.

All in all, I have learned so much about myself over the past three summers (running concurrently with the beginning of this blog, if you hadn’t made the connection). Few things in ministry excite and energize me as much as being able to have authentic conversations with a student who is wrestling with their own understanding and ability to lead. In turn, my leadership influence grows as I challenge those around me to grow.

So, as I ask from time to time, Student ministers: what are you doing to train your student leaders? How are you equipping them? How are you pouring into them? What opportunities are you providing them? Where do you need to start?

The Leadership Invitation

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When I was a 8th grader, my youth minister had a conversation with me that helped set me on a path for the duration of my high school career.

I went to a small school and a small town church, so there weren’t a plethora of students in our youth ministry. As an 8th grader, there were some strong seniors and a junior, but a gap between the junior and my class.

My youth minister sat me down and said the next year I was going to be one of the leaders, along with a couple of classmates.

And the invitation to leadership altered the next four years. It opened my eyes to opportunities all around me.

There’s someone around you who is waiting for an invitation to leadership. Maybe they haven’t been asked to step up. Maybe they haven’t seen the need to step up.

The invitation makes all the difference in the world. Who can you ask?

Leadership & Relationship

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This morning I found a journal that was given to me almost 17 years ago. In it were notes written from youth group members of my home church. The words were encouraging, hopeful (stay in touch!), and affirming, even 17 years later.

As I was reading their words, I was reminded of something: the most impactful leadership rarely happens outside of relationship.

Reading people who write (or blog) about leadership is imperative to leadership development, but the most impactful leadership happens in relationship.

I have a regular habit of watching a video on leadership development at the beginning of each work day, but my life is impacted more by personal relationships.

Our greatest leadership impact is to those whom we lead relationally. When we invest in those around us, our influence begins to grow exponentially. The mistakes we make, the victories we experience, and the joys we experience grow because of the one on one relationship.

But the relationship has to start somewhere.

How are you doing at developing relationships? Are you listening to people, or simply waiting for a chance to speak up? Do you care for those around you, or are they simply a means to an end?

The words I read this morning reminded me–those words came as a result of relationship. Not because of my “great” ability to lead, my wisdom, or my extreme good looks. The impact that was made blossomed out of relationship.

How are you investing in those around you? Is there something that needs to change? Is there something you’re doing that needs to be duplicated? Make a difference today, build a relationship.

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