Tag: perspective

The Difficulty of Leadership

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Ministry is difficult. One of the challenging parts of ministry is how to cope with the reality that our spiritual lives and our relationships are often intertwined.

As a minister, I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes when someone pushes away from church, I take it personally. I view it as a personal failure. I wonder if there’s a mistake I made in the relationship. Sometimes, I can point to something, sometimes I cannot.

So, how do you cope? How do you make that adjustment so you don’t take things personally? Honestly, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know if I have any answers–I’m still pretty new to this. So I lean on the wisdom of other people.

Yesterday I read a post by Carey Nieuwhof that hit home, and I wanted to share it with you. Carey has a 30+ year history in ministry, is a podcaster, blogger, and pastor. He has an uncanny ability to tackle the tough issues in truthful ways, regularly challenging me.

So, as I read his post yesterday, I couldn’t wait to share it today. Here’s a snippet from his post “7 People You Can’t Afford to Keep in Leadership“:

And as someone (or several people exit), the discussion at the leadership table will end up with someone saying:
Look, we can’t afford to lose people. 
Trust me, there’s always someone at the leadership table who thinks we can’t afford to lose anyone.
That’s simply not true.
There are a few kinds of people you can’t afford to keep.
In fact, sometimes the people you are most afraid of losing are the people you can’t afford to keep.
Here’s the strange paradox of leadership: some of the people you think you can’t afford to lose are the very people you can’t afford to keep.
So how do you know the difference?

I think you’ll be surprised by what follows, so give it a read!

3 Core Leadership Traits

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Today I’m going to play off of Tuesday’s Check it Out that linked to this post.

I’ve written before that I spend a lot of time thinking through things. As I’ve started at a new church and am building new relationships, I find myself thinking about those new relationships a lot.

Over the years I’ve picked up a few ways to get to know students (and people) a little bit better, and there are a few things that I value pretty highly when it comes to discerning leadership potential.

  1. Are they willing to do something when no one else is looking. So much of leadership means taking initiative and accomplishing something when no one else is doing it. If I see a kid walk into a room and make the room better without the influence of peer pressure, I immediately take note. A student (or adult) willing to do something that may get noticed but not credited often reveals a servant’s heart.
  2. Do they have that next gear. Everyone can be goofy in their own right. What I’m looking for in a student leader is someone who can move past the goofy into some serious discussions. If they’re capable of that, then opportunities to discuss influence will present themselves before too long.
  3. How do they treat other people. Over the top sarcasm aimed at others often sets off warning lights. Complete obliviousness to the needs of others (a lack of situational awareness) does the same thing. These issues can be worked through, but a deficiency in both may mean some time needs to pass before moving forward.

Obviously, there are multiple traits I look for, pay attention to, and work toward when evaluating leadership potential, but these are three of the core ones. When I find someone willing to go the extra mile without credit, who has the ability to get serious when the situation calls for it, and who treats other people with respect, then I know I’ve found someone with incredible leadership potential.

The Leadership Mystery

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I’ve always been enamored by people who could cook using cast iron pots and pans. For years they seemed to have been a mystery to me.

Then, starting in January, I began cooking my breakfast every morning using a cast iron pan. I learned how to prep the pan, how to cook in the pan, and how to clean the pan, and I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to using a non cast iron pan again.

The more I have used my new favorite cooking pan, the mystique and intrigue of cast iron has slowly faded away. What used to be a mystery has become a staple in my routine.

What fascinates me is the mystery was greater when I hadn’t tried cooking with cast iron. It was something “they” always used, not something I used. I would read about how to use it, but the best growth came through experience.

I’m probably moving in an obvious direction at this point, right?

Leadership is the same way. We can read about leadership. We can watch and admire what “they” do. But until we roll up our sleeves and start exercising leadership, theory is only theory.

Leadership is messy. Plans don’t go the way we want. We make mistakes. We pull the trigger too fast on some things, and not fast enough on other things. We look back and see what we could have done differently.

But at the end of the day, leadership only grows when it’s being used.

My success as a leader is not based on my most recent endeavor. My success as a leader is based on my ability and willingness to move forward in spite of or inspired by my most recent endeavor.

What decision are you holding off on because you’re afraid to move forward today? What’s your cast iron pan? What is the thing that intimidates you? Step up to the metaphorical stove and start cooking! You’ll be glad you did.

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Lessons from the Farm: Boundaries

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Stampede! Or, at least in my mind that’s what I thought was happening.

Granted, now, I realize there was definitely a flare for the dramatic in my response, but I was still pretty green at the whole thing.

We were “driving” cattle, which meant we were trying to move them from one field to another. In the process, they will sometimes naturally run.

The field we were trying to move them out of had a very large ditch (about 40 feet deep) on one side. As we were moving the herd closer to the gate, they started running toward the edge of the ditch, or draw as we called it, I started freaking out.

In the movies, this is where the hero rushes in to divert the herd from the cliff, thus saving the day. So, in my infinite wisdom, I sped over to keep them from jumping to their death.

I didn’t understand one basic concept: cattle may not be hyper intelligent, they’re also generally intelligent enough to realize a 40 foot drop is not a great idea. In other words, the herd was not going to plummet to their death.

The very thing I thought was a danger, was in fact a boundary.

Boundaries are beneficial as you are moving a herd, because it helps reinforce the direction you’re heading. Having a solid boundary on one side allows you to multiply your efforts on the other two sides, and actually increases progress.

Leadership is similar. Sometimes the things we consider to be death traps are actually boundaries in place to help us maximize our effort.

The sacred cows (no pun intended) that drive us crazy actually give us insight into the priorities of those we lead.

The attitudes we don’t understand help us process and choose the right steps forward.

When we understand the limit on one side, we can spend more time on the other two to help push things forward quicker.

Sometimes the boundaries have to be broken through, but often if we shift our mindset just a little, we begin to see the opportunity in front of us and it helps clarify our next steps.

The rest of the story is this: boundaries shouldn’t be boundaries forever. Eventually we moved out of that field into a new one. Those attitudes and sacred cows will eventually stop being boundaries, but only after you’re able to lead forward.

What are you facing today that feels like a death trap, but is actually just a boundary? What adjustment do you need to make to help move things forward?

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Lessons From the Farm: Traditions

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We are continuing our Lessons from the Farm series this week. If you’ve missed any of the posts, or want a refresher from years past, please click around catch up!

Growing up I spent countless hours on tractors. When plowing, I would make “rounds” which meant driving down one side of a terrace and back on the others side. It truly didn’t matter which way I went, but I generally went in a counter-clockwise direction. I never knew why, it was just what felt more natural.

Then one day I discovered why.

There was an old implement in one of the fields. I guess it was more alongside one of the fields. I had never used it, but it had always been there.

One day I asked my dad about it. He told me it was called a “one way” and it was what they used to plow when he was growing up.

Care to guess why it’s called a one way? Because it could only make the rounds one direction.

Care to guess what direction? Counter clockwise.

Can you see where this is going? I was living out a reality that was established by an implement decades before I ever existed. My dad grew up driving a tractor with a one-way, which trained him to go a certain direction. In turn, when I was old enough to plow, my dad taught me the same way he knew and had been doing for decades.

It was tradition.

Tradition always starts somewhere, and usually for a good reason. Tradition often times, however, moves into the realm of “does it really matter” after a little while. The tractors and implements we were using were mechanically ambidextrous, but our tradition-driven habits were not.

As you lead, you will encounter traditions and people who are unwilling to change because of tradition. Sometimes, the tradition is valid. Sometimes, the tradition exists because it’s what is comfortable and known, but the tradition itself is simply strange.

Your role, as a leader, is to help navigate the traditions. Find the good in traditions and maximize it. Find the bad in traditions and erase it.

But understand, traditions are hard wired into everything we do. Eventually, some traditions get so hard wired into our systems that we don’t realize the shortfall. But sometimes, knowing is half the battle.

One last thought: be sympathetic to traditions. Yes, sometimes you have to take a hatchet to a bizarre tradition, but that doesn’t negate the emotional connection.

Ultimately our job as leaders is to lead people, so we have to learn to navigate the emotions people feel when it comes to traditions. Lead with grace and understanding, but also lead with courage. The balance may be difficult, but it is definitely worth it.

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