2 Steps to Developing Student Leaders

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Do you ever hear something and find it popping back into your mind from time to time? Like a song that gets stuck in a loop in your head, but a sentence.

I’m guessing we all do this with different things and to varying degrees. A criticism, a compliment (generally less often), or a generic statement all contain the ability to hang around like a nagging cough. Sometimes, though, the thought provides opportunity for growth.

This past summer, as I was leading a group of student leaders at camp, one of them made a statement that has been bouncing around in my head for months. As we were talking about their own leadership growth, they said “You know, I’ve always been told I had leadership potential, but no one ever showed me how to leverage it.”

Let that sink in for a moment.

This sentence has been on repeat in my head ever since, and not just in a leadership sense. This student had been told what for years, but never how.

Does that give you pause? I know I’ve had the benefit of pondering it for a couple months, but do you see the truth in the statement.

It is so easy for us (yes, I fall into this too) to simply acknowledge a gift someone has. In fact, when it comes to leadership, that’s one of the things I value the most–I want to let a student know I see something in them. It’s easy, it’s fun, and it can make them feel good about themselves for a moment.

But do we show students how to lead? The reality is equipping a student (or anyone) to lead is risky. What if they don’t buy into what we’re teaching? What if they don’t achieve what we see as their potential? What if I don’t really know what I’m doing, and they realize my inadequacy?

The struggle is real. Should I put a hashtag with that? That would up my street cred, right?

#thestruggleisreal

So, how do start to shift from merely acknowledging a gift a student has, to equipping them to take the necessary steps? Here are two steps I’d suggest:

  1. Encourage them to start seeking opportunities to leverage their influence. I do this through teaching the three questions. If a student will begin looking for ways to make a difference and people to invite to help them do so, then the momentum starts to pick up. A student who has been told time and again the what but never the how will jump at the opportunity to act on what others have seen.
  2. Give them opportunities to leverage their influence. I don’t have an unlimited supply of resources, but I can provide opportunities. It may come as the planning of an event, or me suggesting a name of someone they can influence. At camp, it’s high-fiving students as they enter a program, encouraging them to invest relationally in their peers, and leading rec. The possibilities are endless, and the response will vary.

So, think of your circle of influence. Is there someone in your life to whom you have said “you have leadership potential” and walked away? Is there someone who needs you to step in and say, let me show you how to lead? Are you willing to do that? What are you waiting for?

What Lurks Beneath

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Every teenager has leadership potential. More than potential, however, every teenager has influence. My job, as someone who desires to expand my leadership influence, is to help students learn to do the same.

Over my time working with students, I’ve developed a conviction or two. One of those convictions: sometimes a gruff exterior doesn’t mean a hard heart. In fact, sometimes the most amazing blessings come from being able to look beyond a teenager’s appearance and see the kind, gentle, humble heart hanging out below the surface.

But getting to the heart can be tricky more times than not. Some kids put up walls to prevent further hurt. Some kids put up fronts to keep people from knowing who they are. Some kids tear themselves down so their peers don’t have a chance to do so.

Adults do this, too. I don’t think this is a surprise to anyone. This is a people issue.

Our job, as leaders, is to try to look beyond the surface and to watch for glimpses of someone’s heart, then call that out of them. It’s not always easy, and it is often exhausting. But when you see someone step up and exert positive influence, it’s always worth it.

So, who is someone in your sphere of influence that needs a little extra attention? Whose personality is really strong, but may just be a front to hide what’s underneath because they’re afraid to let others know they’re kind and gentle? Who do you need to shift your view of today?

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

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Have you ever seen The Matrix? You know, the Keanu Reeves movies from the late 90s and early 2000s where the world as we know it is all a computer program.

Over the course of the movie Neo (Reeves) discovers he’s been living a lie. Everything he thinks is real is only a computer generated illusion. Through a course of actions he “wakes up” in the real world–a place significantly more hopeless and destitute.

After “waking up”, Neo hacks back into the Matrix for some training. His clothes have changed, his hair has changed, even the ports that were present on his body are no longer there. This is called, if I remember correctly, his residual self image. It’s what he thinks he looks like, or what he chooses to look like.

We all have a similar problem. We have a residual self image we want others to see and believe about us. You have one. I have one.

As we seek to recognize leadership potential in students (or even adults), part of our task is to look past the residual self image a student projects, and discern what lies beneath.

It’s not cool to be a servant leader, but when you see that glimpse of humility, bells should be going off.

For me, those bells are a wonderful thing. I love seeing the potential in a student and learning to navigate the waters of what is currently and what could be in the future.

Are you looking past the residual self image of those around you? Are you starting to notice the potential? Do you know how to start developing that potential? (Click here to read the approach I take.)

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The Leadership Conversation

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Leadership influence is a tricky concept. The reality about leadership influence is we all have influence, but so many people that I observe fail to realize the impact their influence is making.

Influence, unfortunately, does not always mean a positive outcome. Often times I see the result of influence being more negative than positive.

That’s why my heart beats for teenagers. They are exploring the realm of their influence, often missing the real impact they have.

Sometimes, teenagers get so tuned in to their own interests and preferences that they neglect the impact their decisions and actions are having on those around them.

Sometimes, adults get so tuned in to their own interests and preferences that they neglect the impact their decisions and actions are having on those around them.

That’s why I love the leadership conversation. If I can take a student (or adult) and help them begin to discover the potential and influence they have, then we can start to move forward together.

That’s also why I love the three questions. Teaching the three questions to students is a way for them to start to realize the impact they can and do have on a room. More than that, it helps them see the results of that impact. And that impact doesn’t come from being up front or in charge. It comes from serving and adding value.

I want any room I enter to be better because I’m there. Now, that may not mean that I’m the center of attention, and a lot of times that’s not the case at all. But wherever I am, I want to make an impact on those around me in some way. And I love helping others do the same thing.

What about you? Where are you in the process? What’s your passion for developing leaders? What are you doing to develop student leaders around you? What are you doing to develop your own leadership? What step do you need to take today to move forward either developing student leaders or developing your own leadership?

Here are two things I would suggest to help you move forward here:

  1. Find someone to start working through the three questions with you. It doesn’t have to be someone in your immediate context, although that would help. Meet regularly and ask each other: How did you answer the three questions? It seems simple, but the accountability results in a tremendous increase.
  2. Subscribe to get more 3QL posts in your inbox each week. I’m here to help you expand your leadership influence!
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