Tag: relationships

Lessons from the Bottom Bunk, pt 1

The most important part of any camp schedule is what’s not written in the schedule.

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I’m spending two weeks at camp, so I thought I would share some insight from 18 years of being a camp sponsor. Share any tips you might have in the comments!

The most important part of any camp schedule is what’s not written in the schedule.

The youth camp we go to is easily one of my favorites for many reasons. But one of the best: there’s unofficially scheduled down time. That means there are a lot of gaps. It’s not a crazily paced day designed to wear everyone out. It’s designed to make the most of the time we have, but it’s also easy to miss.

That’s why you have to make the most of the schedule. Find the gaps and use them for conversations. Linger at a meal, sharing stories and laughter. Sit in the shade, making observations about life. Dominate 9 square, getting accused of being a bully. Okay, maybe that last one isn’t the best use of time.

But the truth is the same.

Any good camp will have downtime. And sometimes the downtime provides the best opportunities for life changing conversation. Keep that in mind.

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Mastering the Ask, pt 2

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Yesterday I posed a question: Is it better to recruit anyone for a specific position, or a specific person for any position. You can read it here if you missed it. If you didn’t comment, go ahead give me your thoughts.

The more I think about this balance, the more I think it creeps into the realm of “Human Resources”, but still leadership. But, for the time, here are my thoughts in terms of the three people I ask to join the team.

  1. A person who is willing to meet a specific need. I may not have much of a relationship with this person, but either they showed an interest or I saw something in passing and thought they would be someone who might want to join the team. Making decisions off of glimpses can be dangerous, but I’ve learned over time that I can usually get a good sense of someone initially, and then as I get to know them, I can put the pieces together (like not letting someone’s character surprise me). Also, in this category, are people who have said “I’d love to help do ________”. With these people, the task determines the answer. If it’s something they want to do, they say yes.
  2. A person who is willing to help with whatever. These are the Swiss Army knives of team members. Their heart is more about setting up the ministry/organization to win than meeting a single need. They are willing to do whatever is asked. The challenge here is avoiding burnout and helping them find a good balance. I had an adult at my former church who modeled this incredibly. If I needed someone to go on a trip with me, he would go. Someone to teach a lesson? He would do it. Help me plan an event? He was there. Lead a small group? He hit it out of the park. He was invested in the ministry and wanted it to grow. With these people, the question determines the answer. In other words, if I ask, they say yes. Again, being aware and looking to find balance for them is key.
  3. A person I want on the team. There are some people that I think, to use the language of Jim Collins, I just want on the bus. They may not be motivated by the task or the ask, but at the end of the day, because of my relationship with them, I know that I’m a sharper leader because of them. With these people I’m willing to say, let’s create a spot for you to serve where we are fulfilling your gifts. Their skill set may be different from mine (perfect!), or it may compliment mine. Either way, they make the room better. The downside: the invitation is even more critical. Because they’re not being asked to accomplish a clear task, and they may not be invested in the overall success like the second group, casting a clear picture is a little more difficult. At the end of the day, however, being honest (and sensitive to where they are personally) makes all the difference. And a little bit of salesmanship.

Let me be clear about something: I don’t have all the answers. In six months I may re-read this post and delete it. But, at the moment, this is how I strike the balance between asking anyone to accomplish a specific task or asking a specific person to accomplish any task.

So, one more time: what are your thoughts? Do you agree with me? Do you disagree? Am I missing something? I’d love to hear from you!

The Leadership Current

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I was scrolling through Facebook this weekend and saw a post that made me raise my eyebrows. It was a picture of a group of seniors and the statement was something along the lines of “these seniors are ready to be the leaders of their school.”

I think the sentiment behind the posting of the photo was right, but I would push back a little.

Leadership doesn’t show up when the title shows up. Leadership runs like a current beneath the surface, and a title helps bring the current to the surface.

Those students aren’t leaders because they are seniors in high school. They are seniors in high school. Granted, being a senior puts you in positions to lead. Being a senior gives you a level of gravitas to step up and lead. Being a senior allows you the potential to have more influence. But being alive longer (than younger students) doesn’t automatically mean you’re a leader. It just means you’ve been alive longer.

Maybe what I push back on the most is the idea that you have to be a senior to lead. I didn’t believe that when I was in school. In fact, I was not taught that. I was taught the opposite.

At my home church, starting my freshman year, we had a vacancy of leadership, so I found ways to step up. I didn’t wait to have the title. I was given the opportunity and did the best I could.

I’ve seen this play out in the lives of other students. The strongest leaders are the ones who, in the absence of leadership, step up. Perpetuating the thought that “now you’re a senior, you’re a leader” communicates to juniors that they have not yet arrived. Or that a freshman doesn’t stand a chance.

Here’s what I would say: senior year provides a sense of urgency to lead, and that’s completely natural. But, if we aren’t teaching students to step up and lead as middle school students, as freshmen or sophomores or juniors, then when the title of senior arrives, they will be in a sink or swim situation.

If you work with students, find ways to provide opportunities for them to expand their leadership influence. Let’s help students learn to take a stand regardless of their age. Then, when they become seniors, they will have been trained to make the most of their title.

But if you are alive, let me challenge you: If you’re waiting for your “senior year” (literally or figuratively), stop waiting and find a way to step up and lead today.

Leadership & Relationship

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This morning I found a journal that was given to me almost 17 years ago. In it were notes written from youth group members of my home church. The words were encouraging, hopeful (stay in touch!), and affirming, even 17 years later.

As I was reading their words, I was reminded of something: the most impactful leadership rarely happens outside of relationship.

Reading people who write (or blog) about leadership is imperative to leadership development, but the most impactful leadership happens in relationship.

I have a regular habit of watching a video on leadership development at the beginning of each work day, but my life is impacted more by personal relationships.

Our greatest leadership impact is to those whom we lead relationally. When we invest in those around us, our influence begins to grow exponentially. The mistakes we make, the victories we experience, and the joys we experience grow because of the one on one relationship.

But the relationship has to start somewhere.

How are you doing at developing relationships? Are you listening to people, or simply waiting for a chance to speak up? Do you care for those around you, or are they simply a means to an end?

The words I read this morning reminded me–those words came as a result of relationship. Not because of my “great” ability to lead, my wisdom, or my extreme good looks. The impact that was made blossomed out of relationship.

How are you investing in those around you? Is there something that needs to change? Is there something you’re doing that needs to be duplicated? Make a difference today, build a relationship.

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