Tag: routine

Practicing the 3 Questions

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I had a humbling experience last week. One of my peers in youth ministry, who has been a big supporter of my blog to this point, posted a picture of his computer screen. What made it humbling was the side of his monitor where he had written the 3 questions on a sticky note and left it there as a reminder. (Click here if you’re not sure what the 3 Questions are.)

Then, another peer commented he had them written on his white board, and I was struck by something.

Perception makes all the difference.

I have been using these three questions as a way to equip and encourage student leaders for a little over a year, but how well do I apply them to my own life?

If I were going to be honest with you (and why wouldn’t I?), I wrestle with the exact same part of the three questions as most of my students: the third question.

I’m a wonderful analyzer, and I have a stubborn streak that tends to say “I’ll do this myself”, but I fail time and time again at asking and answering the third question.

But if I’m serious about growing my own leadership influence, I have to start somewhere.

And one thing I know, when I do ask and answer the third question, I love to watch what happens. I love seeing people find a spot to serve. I love equipping others to step up and meet needs.

Ultimately, the three questions are what we use them to be. We can train student leaders, or adults. But, most importantly, we can use them to grow as leaders ourselves.

Look for ways to answer the three questions in your personal life today.

Lessons from the Big Chair: Communicate Well

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The church where I serve has been without a pastor since January, and I have had the privilege of serving alongside an incredibly wise, discerning, and experienced interim pastor over the past four months. As that time has drawn to an end and we have a new pastor coming in a few weeks, I thought I would spend some time reflecting on a few lessons I learned along the way. Today will be the last post in this series.

It’s really hard to narrow down some of the major lessons I’ve learned, while at the same time trying to keep situations general. Let me finish the series with the final piece of advice he gave me as he left: keep the lines of communication open.

So many leadership struggles happen as a result of poor communication. I find myself referring to people as “black holes of information” whereas just this week my loving wife accused me of the being the same thing.

Communication can be hard.

While communicating, intent can get ignored.

Content can get confused.

Comments can get misunderstood, and tensions can rise.

That’s why, as leaders, we need to learn to continually keep the lines of communication open, going both ways. We need to communicate well with those we lead, but we also need to be willing to listen and establish a culture of two-way communication.

So, how are you doing at communicating this week? Do you need to work out a situation with someone in a supervisory role above you? What about someone you are leading who may need to communicate with you? What are you doing to help them find opportunities to communicate with you?

Or maybe, for you, communicating means simply checking in and asking how life’s going. Whatever it looks like, keep the lines of communication open and watch your leadership influence grow.

Lessons from the Big Chair: Work with People

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The church where I serve has been without a pastor since January, and I have had the privilege of serving alongside an incredibly wise, discerning, and experienced interim pastor over the past four months. As that time has drawn to an end and we have a new pastor coming in a few weeks, I thought I would spend some time reflecting on a few lessons I learned along the way.

First, something we covered regularly, was at the end of the day all we have left to work with are people.

Understanding the reality of this statement is imperative for leaders. We are not working with robots, cattle, kittens, or cookie dough. We are working with people with individual and unique personalities, preferences, opinions, strengths and weaknesses.

For a minister, this means leading a group of people is never the same experience. Every meeting, every service, every event, has a unique feel and energy because the people who are present is constantly different.

For a leader, this means get to know those you lead. Learn what makes them tick, what makes them happy, and what makes them upset. Take some time jotting down a few personal observations about how they respond.

If someone seems to always respond in the negative, learn how to lead them to a positive reaction by anticipating their negativity.

If someone values being included in a decision, find ways to include them in other decisions.

If someone brags on a written note they received from you, write more notes to them.

At the end of the day, all we have to work with are people. Make the most of the effort you spend and get to know the people you lead and serve.

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Take Time to Say Thank You

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How are you on a scale of 1 to 10 on showing gratitude to others? Go ahead, give yourself a number. 1 would be “why would I be grateful to those losers” and 10 would be “I’m so grateful, I’ve built a Hall of Fame for other people to show my gratitude.”

Now, take a minute and think about how you’ve shown gratitude to those leaders around you who have poured into you to make you better. When was the last time you connected just to say “thank you”?

Part of leadership is recognizing where we’ve come from and the people who have helped us along the way.

I think about a few key men in my life who have helped shape me over the years, one especially being my father. I wouldn’t be who I am, or be able to do what I do if it weren’t for his support throughout my life. His model of what it takes to work hard, to think outside the box, and to succeed has meant the world to me.

You have someone like that. Tell them thank you today.

But before you do, let me flip this around.

Have you ever led someone who you feel is destined to do great things? You know, as strange as this may sound, I have a few people in my life who I have led and helped grow that I am proud to say I helped them become who they are (even though the “help” I offered was minimal).

There are a few students I have had over the years who bring a smile to my face when I get to reconnect. And to them, I am grateful for the time they allowed me to pour into them, for the mistakes I made and they forgave me for, and for their continued excitement and encouragement.

So, take some time after you share your gratitude with one of the people who poured into you, and say thank you to someone who has allowed you to speak into their lives over the years.

Leadership doesn’t stop when your paths split along the way.

Find a way to connect today, and celebrate the leadership journey.

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Check It Out: Having a Personal Development Plan

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Today’s “Check It Out” is an early post dealing with your own personal development and how to help make sure you grow as a leader. Click here to read it.

Here’s a glimpse:

Look at a calendar, and look back over the last six months. What steps have you taken to become a better leader? Have you had regular meetings with a mentor? Have you read leadership books? Maybe you have attended some conferences, or go to a local network of professionals.

Leadership development for those around you will not take priority until your own personal leadership development takes priority. Let that soak in for a moment. Developing leaders around you will not take place at a rate that is greater than your own development.

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