Tag: Three Question Leadership

Know Your Fish

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This past weekend I got to spend time with a great group of teenage guys. We built a trip for them, and it was a great experience.

On Saturday we had the opportunity to fish and shoot skeet (clay pigeons). If I were to be completely honest, we shot skeet because it’s been a while since I’ve shot and I wanted to shoot, and we fished because the boys asked to go fishing.

Now, the last paragraph reveals something about me — I’m not a fisherman. My thoughts when planning the trip didn’t go to “It would be so much fun to fish” but instead “it would be so much fun to shoot skeet.”

When it comes to fishing, I don’t know what I’m doing. I can make some guesses. I can buy some fishing supplies, mostly on clearance because I like a good deal. But the bottom line is the one time I’ve ever taken my girls fishing and tried to figure it out, we caught a turtle with a turkey hot dog. Let that sink in.

Shooting skeet, on the other hand, is more in my wheel house. I know what it takes. I know what we need. I know who to ask. I have a good idea of how to set it up, because I have done it often. I know what my goal is, and I know how to achieve it.

Here’s your leadership principle – if you don’t know your goal, you don’t know how to achieve it.

I don’t know what bait to use to catch what type of fish.

I know which gun to use to shoot skeet.

If you are working and don’t have a goal in mind, then all the effort you’re putting in is wasted energy.

Even worse, if the people you are leading don’t know what your goal should be, then all the effort you’re putting in is wasted.

A clear vision/purpose/direction/goal allows you to create shared forward movement. When you get everyone on the same page moving forward, the progress you’re able to make will be beyond what you ever imagined.

But it doesn’t happen if you don’t even know what kind of fish you’re trying to catch.

The Power of Shared Definitions

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On Tuesday I wrote about the importance of shared definitions. (Click here if you missed it.

So, what’s the benefit of a shared definition?

I played basketball in high school. One year our coach drew up a play we called “Oklahoma”, and the play would end in a lob pass to the basket. The play itself was a pretty big leap for our collective ability, but that didn’t diminish the excitement.

Then, in a game, he called the play. I quickly ran through the mental motions and realized I would be on the receiving end of the lob pass at the basket–my chance for a Sportscenter top 10 highlight play.

One problem–not everyone knew the play. Not to throw someone under the bus, but the other post botched the execution which in turn eliminated any possibility of my going on to play basketball professionally. There was no lob. There was no highlight. There was no cohesion.

When we share definitions, we get on the same page as those around us, and they get on the same page as us. When we agree that we all start from point x, and we all move to point y, then we move as a unit.

Shared definitions lead to unity.

Shared definitions lead to increased impact.

Shared definitions lead to greater influence.

As a leader, our job is to navigate the waters of multiple priorities, trying to provide a clear direction for those we lead.

What situations are you facing that would benefit from a shared definition, a common goal? What arena of poor communication is preventing your influence from growing more and more? Are you willing to make the necessary changes? What’s the first one? What are you waiting for?

Red Pill or Blue Pill?

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Have you ever seen The Matrix? You know, the Keanu Reeves movies from the late 90s and early 2000s where the world as we know it is all a computer program.

Over the course of the movie Neo (Reeves) discovers he’s been living a lie. Everything he thinks is real is only a computer generated illusion. Through a course of actions he “wakes up” in the real world–a place significantly more hopeless and destitute.

After “waking up”, Neo hacks back into the Matrix for some training. His clothes have changed, his hair has changed, even the ports that were present on his body are no longer there. This is called, if I remember correctly, his residual self image. It’s what he thinks he looks like, or what he chooses to look like.

We all have a similar problem. We have a residual self image we want others to see and believe about us. You have one. I have one.

As we seek to recognize leadership potential in students (or even adults), part of our task is to look past the residual self image a student projects, and discern what lies beneath.

It’s not cool to be a servant leader, but when you see that glimpse of humility, bells should be going off.

For me, those bells are a wonderful thing. I love seeing the potential in a student and learning to navigate the waters of what is currently and what could be in the future.

Are you looking past the residual self image of those around you? Are you starting to notice the potential? Do you know how to start developing that potential? (Click here to read the approach I take.)

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3 Core Leadership Traits

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Today I’m going to play off of Tuesday’s Check it Out that linked to this post.

I’ve written before that I spend a lot of time thinking through things. As I’ve started at a new church and am building new relationships, I find myself thinking about those new relationships a lot.

Over the years I’ve picked up a few ways to get to know students (and people) a little bit better, and there are a few things that I value pretty highly when it comes to discerning leadership potential.

  1. Are they willing to do something when no one else is looking. So much of leadership means taking initiative and accomplishing something when no one else is doing it. If I see a kid walk into a room and make the room better without the influence of peer pressure, I immediately take note. A student (or adult) willing to do something that may get noticed but not credited often reveals a servant’s heart.
  2. Do they have that next gear. Everyone can be goofy in their own right. What I’m looking for in a student leader is someone who can move past the goofy into some serious discussions. If they’re capable of that, then opportunities to discuss influence will present themselves before too long.
  3. How do they treat other people. Over the top sarcasm aimed at others often sets off warning lights. Complete obliviousness to the needs of others (a lack of situational awareness) does the same thing. These issues can be worked through, but a deficiency in both may mean some time needs to pass before moving forward.

Obviously, there are multiple traits I look for, pay attention to, and work toward when evaluating leadership potential, but these are three of the core ones. When I find someone willing to go the extra mile without credit, who has the ability to get serious when the situation calls for it, and who treats other people with respect, then I know I’ve found someone with incredible leadership potential.

The Leadership Conversation

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Leadership influence is a tricky concept. The reality about leadership influence is we all have influence, but so many people that I observe fail to realize the impact their influence is making.

Influence, unfortunately, does not always mean a positive outcome. Often times I see the result of influence being more negative than positive.

That’s why my heart beats for teenagers. They are exploring the realm of their influence, often missing the real impact they have.

Sometimes, teenagers get so tuned in to their own interests and preferences that they neglect the impact their decisions and actions are having on those around them.

Sometimes, adults get so tuned in to their own interests and preferences that they neglect the impact their decisions and actions are having on those around them.

That’s why I love the leadership conversation. If I can take a student (or adult) and help them begin to discover the potential and influence they have, then we can start to move forward together.

That’s also why I love the three questions. Teaching the three questions to students is a way for them to start to realize the impact they can and do have on a room. More than that, it helps them see the results of that impact. And that impact doesn’t come from being up front or in charge. It comes from serving and adding value.

I want any room I enter to be better because I’m there. Now, that may not mean that I’m the center of attention, and a lot of times that’s not the case at all. But wherever I am, I want to make an impact on those around me in some way. And I love helping others do the same thing.

What about you? Where are you in the process? What’s your passion for developing leaders? What are you doing to develop student leaders around you? What are you doing to develop your own leadership? What step do you need to take today to move forward either developing student leaders or developing your own leadership?

Here are two things I would suggest to help you move forward here:

  1. Find someone to start working through the three questions with you. It doesn’t have to be someone in your immediate context, although that would help. Meet regularly and ask each other: How did you answer the three questions? It seems simple, but the accountability results in a tremendous increase.
  2. Subscribe to get more 3QL posts in your inbox each week. I’m here to help you expand your leadership influence!
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