Incoherent Ramblings | Three Question Leadership

Who Sets the Target?

As leaders, I don’t think we have to trick people into accomplishing a task, but I do think our role becomes one of setting the target, or inviting people into the conversation as we seek to set the target.

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When my girls were younger and in the “I don’t want to eat all of my food stage”, I would try to trick them. When they got to what they thought would be the end of their meal, I would say, “why don’t you take three more bites?”. From there, I would repeat the challenge until their food was gone. Eventually they caught on, but the effectiveness was surprising.

We had different targets. Their target was to finish eating as quick as possible and get back to playing. My target was their health.

If we as leaders don’t at least help define what we’re aiming for, then the people we lead will decide instead. Letting someone else decide the target may not always be a bad thing, but you always run the risk that they will choose something that is actually the opposite of the progress of the ministry.

If our goal is to grow disciples, then having the best video games may not be the win.

If our goal is to impact our community, then having the cleanest space may not be the win.

If our goal is to lead people to worship, then having the best a/v system may not be the win.

But unless we take the time to communicate the target for which we’re aiming, we run the risk of wasted effort.

Andy Stanley talks about this as “Clarifying the Win” (you can listen to a conversation on this here, and it’s worth your time!).

At the end of the day, you have been placed in a leadership position for a reason. Take the necessary steps to make sure everyone you lead is on the same page and moving in the same direction. this happens most naturally by making sure you choose, clarify, and communicate the target at which you’re aiming.

What Do You Expect?

We can’t hold someone to a standard they don’t know exists.

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Welcome to July. We are now halfway through summer. And if you’re a student minister, that means one of two things: you have just finished a big event (camp or mission trip), or you have one coming. Or maybe both are true.

As you reflect or prepare, let me ask you a simple question: are you communicating your expectations?

I just finished an event, and while I ended being pleased with the outcome, there were one or two burrs under my saddle, so to speak. Attitudes that I would have liked to see, but they were sadly absent. But at the end of the day, I didn’t communicate my expectations. I didn’t communicate the attitude I expected, and so my frustration lies with me.

We can’t hold someone to a standard they don’t know exists. This is a hard lesson I’ve had to learn over time. If we don’t communicate what we expect, then people will lean towards being content with what they’re doing, or living in a state of perpetual unrest.

Bottom line: everyone wins when you communicate expectations. Make sure the expectations are reasonable, but communicate away. The people you lead will be grateful.

3 Ways to Make the Most of Mistakes

But what you do on the back side is what will set you apart as a leader.

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A while back, at a previous church, I realized I had been making the wrong announcement for a month. Well, maybe not the wrong announcement, but taking the wrong approach.

We had a community outreach opportunity coming up, and one of the key elements for pulling it off was having church members fill eggs with candy. But, too late in the process, I realized we could have been encouraging our members to fill eggs AND invite people from our community. Simple enough, right?

Part of leadership is realizing and admitting you make mistakes. Some mistakes, like failing to emphasize the inviting nature of an outreach event, are relatively minor, something we might consider to be simply missed opportunities. Other mistakes carry consequences, like hesitating to schedule an event and losing the opportunity to make it the best possible as a result.

So, today, how do we overcome mistakes or missed opportunities? Here are 3 things I have learned over the years.

Admit It. More than likely everyone knows you made a mistake, so admit it. Few things are more difficult than following a leader who never admits to doing anything wrong. Admitting mistakes is a sign of maturity, humility and humanity.
Own It. There is a slight difference between admitting you made a mistake and owning your mistake, but there’s a difference. When we learn to own our mistakes, we take responsibility for the new course we are on. When we take ownership of the mistake, we are then able to evaluate and move forward.
Grow From It. Most people would prefer to follow someone who admits their mistakes, but few people will continue to follow a leader who always makes mistakes. Learn from the mistakes you make by evaluating what you could do differently, and fix it the next time.

The bottom line is this: you will make mistakes. Everyone does. You will miss opportunities. Everyone does. But what you do on the back side is what will set you apart as a leader.

Grow in your leadership today. Learn from your mistakes and missed opportunities.

Teach Others the Power of Evaluation

If you are someone who has aspirations to develop other leaders, let me issue this charge to you: learn to evaluate. Don’t settle for mediocre or okay. Feed the drive and desire to make what you’re doing even better.

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This morning I woke up with a post I wrote last year on my mind. If you’re limited on time, let me encourage you to go read it instead of today (or do both!).

The short version is this quote from John Maxwell: Experience isn’t the best teacher. Evaluated experience is the best teacher.

It’s too easy to settle for accomplishing something and moving on. Don’t. Accomplish something, evaluate it, and grow from it.

And to take it one step further, teach those within the sphere of your influence to do the same. Provide opportunities to evaluate. Be the one who is beating the drum for evaluation. Push it. Create the space for it. Highlight the benefits of it. And make it happen.

I think you’ll be amazed at what happens when you lean into evaluation as a tool for growth. But for now, go read this post.

Find a Delicate Balance

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I have a question for you today: how much of what you believe about yourself is because of what you tell yourself, or because of what others tell you?

I have a pretty harsh inner critic. I’m constantly battling self-doubt and thoughts of not being able to stand up to the expectations I put on myself. I struggle with the person I want to be–am I simply “faking it till I make it” or am I really the kind of leader I want to be?

That’s where good friends come in to play. The people who speak into our lives play a much larger role than we might acknowledge. In moments of doubt and self-defeat, the words spoken to us by those around us can give us life.

But it goes the other way. Countless leaders have met their demise because they are surrounded by people (and refuse to listen to people) who will not and cannot speak truth. We reject their message because it doesn’t fit our narrative, or we don’t enjoy the message.

At the end of the day, we need people who will speak life into us; people who will speak the hard truth in love; people who will love us regardless. But make no mistake: who you surround yourself with matters.

Do you have an old friend to whom you need to reach out today? Do you have a new friend to whom you need to say thanks? Acknowledge the people in your life who make you better. Do it today.

Category: Incoherent Ramblings

Who Sets the Target?

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What Do You Expect?

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3 Ways to Make the Most of Mistakes

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Teach Others the Power of Evaluation

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Find a Delicate Balance

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