3 Questions to Help You Grow as a Leader

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Earlier this week, I wrote about how our leadership development begins with us. I can’t make you grow, and you can’t make me grow. Ultimately, the decision is a personal one, and I hope one you’re willing to make. As you seek to grow in your leadership, here are three questions which I think you should be able to provide an answer.

  1. What was the last book on leadership you consumed? I chose the word “consumed” because I’m a little quirky. I don’t always read a book. In fact, I often find myself listening to audiobooks, with one caveat. For me, I don’t engage with audiobooks as well as I do with written word. But either way, there’s something about exploring leadership ideas and principles that opens our understanding and challenges us. So, again, I ask what was the last book on leadership you consumed? Here are a few of mine:

2. What was the last discussion about leadership you had? This goes a few different ways. When was the last time you went to someone with stronger leadership skills and asked questions? When was the last time you went to a leadership peer and asked questions? When was the last time you brought a less experienced leader alongside you and asked questions? Chances are if you’re not having discussions, at least occasionally, about leadership growth and development, then it’s probably not happening. Change that.

3. What was the last observation about leadership you had? I may be a little biased here, but I think if we’re not looking for leadership lessons and principles around us, then we are going to miss too many opportunities for growth. Pay attention to your own leadership. Note your flaws and your wins. Sometimes the best lessons we learn are ones we observe. Just this week I was reminded of a principle I observed over 10 years ago–and it’s still true!

Once again, at the end of the day, you’re responsible for your growth. What are you doing to grow? What are you going to do?

Leadership Growth Begins with…

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I’ve been on an interesting leadership journey the past 12 months.

It all started with an audio book. During the summer of COVID shutdowns, I had just finished our biggest event, and was looking to unwind a little bit. So, naturally, I stepped outside to my grill. As is my habit, I started listening to a book. But I didn’t want to just listen to a book, I wanted to engage with a book. So when the author talked about hitting pause and filling out an assessment, I did just that.

And I was shocked. So shocked, in fact, that I immediately bought the physical version of the book (because I know I engage better through a physical version). I invited a few friends to read through the book with me, and the five of us proceeded to know out a section per week for the next six weeks.

Running concurrently, I joined a leadership network with the intent of trying to grow in my own leadership. At some point, I got to jump on a call with the coach and he offered some insights that proved invaluable, practical, and inspirational.

And then I got intentional. Over the past year, I have walked side by side at least a dozen different leaders (most of them not even students!), seeking to invest in and inspire them. Some of these relationships are ongoing, and some are more seasonal. But in the process, I learned one thing: Leadership growth begins with me.

More specifically, my leadership growth begins with me.

If I want others to grow, I have to be willing to grow. If I want to make an impact in the lives of other people, I have to be willing to put forth the effort to grow myself.

The same is true for you. What are you doing to grow as a leader? What are you reading? To what are you listening? With whom are you surrounding yourself? What opportunities are you pursuing? How intentional are you being about growing? How intentional are you willing to be about growing?

At the end of the day, your greatest influence is always over yourself. What are you doing to lead yourself? What change do you need to make. What next step can you take to help?

I don’t usually do this, but if you’ve read this: I want you to comment your answer to one of the questions above. It can be on the blog, on Facebook, or a reply on Twitter. But I want to know what you’re doing, so that maybe it will help me grow, too. If you’re looking to make a change, I’d love to help encourage you along the way.

3 Ways to Make the Most of Mistakes

But what you do on the back side is what will set you apart as a leader.

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A while back, at a previous church, I realized I had been making the wrong announcement for a month. Well, maybe not the wrong announcement, but taking the wrong approach.

We had a community outreach opportunity coming up, and one of the key elements for pulling it off was having church members fill eggs with candy. But, too late in the process, I realized we could have been encouraging our members to fill eggs AND invite people from our community. Simple enough, right?

Part of leadership is realizing and admitting you make mistakes. Some mistakes, like failing to emphasize the inviting nature of an outreach event, are relatively minor, something we might consider to be simply missed opportunities. Other mistakes carry consequences, like hesitating to schedule an event and losing the opportunity to make it the best possible as a result.

So, today, how do we overcome mistakes or missed opportunities? Here are 3 things I have learned over the years.

  1. Admit It. More than likely everyone knows you made a mistake, so admit it. Few things are more difficult than following a leader who never admits to doing anything wrong. Admitting mistakes is a sign of maturity, humility and humanity.
  2. Own It. There is a slight difference between admitting you made a mistake and owning your mistake, but there’s a difference. When we learn to own our mistakes, we take responsibility for the new course we are on. When we take ownership of the mistake, we are then able to evaluate and move forward.
  3. Grow From It. Most people would prefer to follow someone who admits their mistakes, but few people will continue to follow a leader who always makes mistakes. Learn from the mistakes you make by evaluating what you could do differently, and fix it the next time.

The bottom line is this: you will make mistakes. Everyone does. You will miss opportunities. Everyone does. But what you do on the back side is what will set you apart as a leader.

Grow in your leadership today. Learn from your mistakes and missed opportunities.

Is This The Hardest Part of Leadership?

But in the midst of the mundane, there is beauty. In the midst of the repetition, there is opportunity.

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Do you know the hardest part of writing a blog? The consistency of having to write another post. It comes up two times each week, like clockwork.

Ministry is the same. Sunday is always right around the bend (or Wednesday for many youth ministers).

Farming was the same. No matter how many years in a row you planted a seed, the next year it was time to plant it again.

I imagine CPAs have the same feeling. Regardless of how hard you work from January to April 15 one year, the next year you will have to work just as hard.

But in the midst of the mundane, there is beauty. In the midst of the repetition, there is opportunity.

Something a mentor pointed out to me not long ago is what he called the “redundancy of leadership.”

What does that mean? Simple: a major part of leadership is repetition.

Take, for instance, the three questions (you can read about them here). The three questions work great when you use them one time, but they find their greatest impact when they are asked and answered on a regular basis. The more frequently you answer them, the more integral they become to your leadership style and effectiveness.

The problem, however, is when redundancy carries a negative connotation. Who likes getting their teeth cleaned every six months? Or, who enjoys shooting hundreds of free throws? Or, what parent anticipates the excitement of yet another dirty diaper?

The redundancy of leadership means having the same conversation over and over. Sometimes the audience changes, but sometimes the message and audience remain the same.

The redundancy of leadership means yet again casting vision for your organization, even though you did it last week, or last month, or last year, or all of the above.

This week, embrace the redundancy. Find the beauty in the mundane. Excavate the excitement of the repetitive. And, above most other things, hang in there.

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Is This What’s Missing In Your Leadership?

That means I can teach 10 people to grow their influence, or I can teach 10 people to grow their influence who in turn grow their influence by teaching 10 people each. At that point influence isn’t growing, it is multiplying. Like chills in the movie Grease.

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Is leadership that is not expanding truly leadership?

Bear with me for a minute.

If I’m teaching students to ask and answer the three questions but it stops there, is my leadership influence growing? Even more pointedly, if the students I’m leading are stopping short of answering the third question, aren’t we missing the point completely?

Leadership influence expands when more people fall into that influence. That means I can teach 10 people to grow their influence, or I can teach 10 people to grow their influence who in turn grow their influence by teaching 10 people each. At that point influence isn’t growing, it is multiplying. Like chills in the movie Grease.

Let’s get specific: if I pour into a leader who never into another leader around them, am I really pouring into a leader? Leadership influence is most efficient when we first lead ourselves and then lead others. And leadership influences multiplies when the people I have led begin to lead others.

But secret expectations are rarely met and almost never healthy. You know this. I know this.

How are you equipping those you lead to truly lead others? How are you inviting them to repeat the process?

Let me challenge you today. If you are a regular reader, find one person this week in whom you can start investing. It could be a student. It could be an adult. It could be your child, your spouse, or your neighbor. Teach them the three questions, and then add a fourth: who can I teach the three questions?

Don’t settle for addition. Aim for multiplication.

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